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“No, please!” Her plea seemed too spontaneous to be other than genuine. “I have been quite alone here since taking residence two weeks ago. Some company would be very welcome.” Her smile was merely the ghost of the arch smile he remembered so well. Darcy would, of course, agree to stay. He could deny her nothing, no matter the cost to him.
She made an attempt at her old teasing tone. “And if it is not too much trouble, I was hoping you might favor me with stories about the ‘savage’ lands of America.”
***
The following morning, Elizabeth awoke at her usual time and descended for breakfast. Living in this house without Richard still felt wrong in many subtle ways. With so many memories of visiting him here, she found it difficult to remember he would not simply walk through the door one day. For the most part, she found it comforting to be surrounded by such memories, but upon occasion, they grew to be too much, and she needed a brisk walk or visit to the Gardiners.
Richard had not related to her the alterations to his will, so his bequest had been a revelation when the solicitor had notified her. Her first thought had been to refuse the house and the income, which was unnecessarily generous. She understood his reasoning about the marriage contract, but they had not actually been married—although there were times she felt like his widow— and she did not believe herself to be entitled to his money or property.
Her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner had spent many hours persuading Elizabeth of the difficulties inherent in refusing the bequest. Ultimately, Elizabeth had been swayed by her knowledge that, on his deathbed, Richard’s concerns had been about her future. Refusing the bequest would be refusing his wishes for her.
The Gardiners had also advised that possessing an income might be necessary to her family. Although her father’s health had stabilized, he was still weak, and Mr. Collins would not hesitate to claim Longbourn once her father passed on.
Her mother fretted about their future and had relied on Mr. Bingley to care for her and the unmarried Bennet sisters. Jane, however, had confided to Elizabeth that Mr. Bingley’s business interests had suffered a setback, and Caroline’s spendthrift ways were costing him dearly. In fact, the Bingleys had recently sold their London house, and Jane had told Elizabeth that they might give up Netherfield in favor of a smaller house.
While the Bingleys’ situation was by no means dire, Elizabeth recognized that she could not in good conscience refuse an income that could support her family without imposing a burden on Charles and Jane. The money Richard had settled on her was comfortable but not extravagant; however, the townhouse was a valuable property, and Elizabeth could sell it should her family need assistance.
In the short term, the townhouse had provided a valuable refuge during this trying time. Peace and quiet were often in short supply in the bustling Gardiner household, but Elizabeth had desperately needed both to grieve and plan for her future. Over the past year, her aunt and uncle had repeatedly reassured her that she was not a burden to their household, but she was pleased to relieve them of their responsibility toward her.
Nevertheless, she was very conscious that she was in an odd position. At one and twenty, never married, she now owned and managed her own household. More than one person had insisted she needed a chaperone to live with her, but Elizabeth had demurred. She had no relatives to fulfil the role and did not wish to incur the expense of hiring someone.
As she strolled toward the dining room, she wondered what Mr. Darcy thought of her situation. The previous day, his demeanor had been grave and distant, but she could not imagine he approved of all her choices. Did he believe Thomas should have the townhouse? Did he think it was improper for a young woman to live alone in London? He observed rules of propriety and felt his family pride strongly. Yes, he probably disapproved of almost everything.
Elizabeth reminded herself to make allowances for Mr. Darcy’s feelings. His grief was fresh, while Elizabeth’s had been a daily companion for three weeks. Although Mr. Darcy was often difficult and unpleasant, he had always been a good friend to Richard, who had thought very highly of his cousin. At the very least, Mr. Darcy did not appear to treat her with the same degree of disdain as Richard’s parents or brothers.
Truth be told, Elizabeth was pleased to have the Darcys staying. Their presence was a reminder of happier times, and having visitors was a welcome distraction from the melancholy that sometimes threatened to weigh down her days.
Mr. Darcy was already seated at the breakfast table, a plate of food in front of him and a folded newspaper next to it. However, he was neither eating nor reading but was staring at nothing, apparently absorbed in his own thoughts.
“Mr. Darcy?” Elizabeth asked gently. He started out of his reverie. “I am sorry to startle you.”
“No, I … um …” He blinked rapidly, only slowly focusing his eyes on her. “That is … I fear I am not at my best this morning.” He peered down at his plate as if surprised to find food before him.
“Indeed. It is quite understandable,” she said softly. “I have experienced many such days lately.”
Mr. Darcy looked up from his food, and his blue eyes caught and held hers in a mesmerizing gaze. “Miss Elizabeth, I apologize if I did not adequately convey this sentiment yesterday, but I am sorrier than I can express. To lose someone you love is grievous. But to lose a fiancé before you even had an opportunity to wed …” He seemed at a loss for words and instead shook his head, massaging his forehead with one hand.
“Thank you for your kind words.” Elizabeth was uncertain how to respond to this more sensitive version of Mr. Darcy. How long until he reverted to his haughty, difficult demeanor?
He did not seem to require further response, so Elizabeth filled her plate from the sideboard and seated herself at the table. Across the table sat the empty chair Richard had favored. She blinked back tears and took a bite of her eggs, hoping Mr. Darcy did not notice her melancholy spirits.
It had grown no easier over the past three weeks to live without Richard. He had been her best friend, her confidante. Aside from Jane, there was no one in the world with whom she had felt so comfortable. Together, they had laughed at many of the foibles of the society of London. Richard had helped her navigate the sometimes treacherous societal waters, but he had never regarded the world of the ton very seriously, as the rest of his family was wont to do.
She found Mr. Darcy’s stern profile more than a little intimidating and wished she had Richard’s reassuring smile to encourage her. Mr. Darcy was an eternal conundrum to Elizabeth but had been an open book to Richard. He would have ably interpreted the man’s current mood and teased him out of any ill humor.
Elizabeth took a sip of coffee for strength. Richard was not here, but he would not wish her to shirk her duty as a hostess. Besides, Mr. Darcy might be a mystery, but at least solving the mystery would give her wits focus and distraction. “How is Georgiana?” she asked.
Mr. Darcy appeared to be pushing the food around on his plate rather than consuming it. “She was still asleep when I checked on her, and I thought it best not to awaken her. Unless of course, you need us to depart.”
“No, no. She is welcome to stay as long as she likes—and you as well.” Elizabeth silently castigated herself for sounding as if Mr. Darcy was an afterthought. Why did she always misspeak to the man? Fortunately, he appeared to take no notice.
Darcy swallowed some coffee and cleared his throat. “Last night, you said you felt alone in the house. Surely someone from your family could stay with you during this difficult time.”
Would Mr. Darcy never stop surprising her? With the dreadful news she had imparted the previous day, why had he given her living arrangements any consideration at all? “Unfortunately, no one can be spared. My mother and sister Mary are occupied with helping my father during his convalescence. Jane would have visited, but she is close to her confinement, and I did not think it wise for her to travel.”
“What of Mrs. Collins?”
Elizabeth gave a wan smile. “Lady Catherine objected most strenuously to my engagement to her nephew, so Mr. Collins has forbidden his wife to visit me.” Mr. Darcy made a noise which sounded disapproving. “My sister, Kitty, offered to come, but I declined. She would be less of a help than a hindrance. But of course, my Aunt and Uncle Gardiner live nearby. They are excellent people.”
