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Lifting her eyes from her tea cup, she met Jane’s knowing look. “Lydia does regret her actions, you know,” Jane said.
Elizabeth snorted. “She regrets that George Wickham didn’t turn out to be the Prince Charming she expected, not the damage she did to my life or Will’s.”
Jane leaned forward, regarding Elizabeth earnestly from across the coffee table. “I do think that deep down she’s sorry.”
Elizabeth sighed. “Maybe. But she never apologized to me or said anything to indicate regret.”
“Yeah, she’s infuriating,” Jane conceded.
Elizabeth took another sip of her tea, wishing it was late enough that she could retire for the night, but they hadn’t even had dinner yet.
“Are you happy in Indonesia?” Jane asked suddenly.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. Jane had asked this question in one way or another every day over the past week. “The work I’m doing is very valuable,” Elizabeth answered carefully.
Jane sighed. “You always say that.”
Elizabeth shrugged. “It’s true.”
“You don’t look happy.” This was the most direct observation Jane had made so far.
Elizabeth ran a hand through her hair. “What do you want me to say? It’s only been about six months, Jane. I miss him, but I’m fine.” Her words weren’t even convincing to her own ears. “I don’t know if I’ll sign up for another overseas assignment when my two years are finished. It’s—maybe I’m g
etting too old for constant travel.”
Jane gave her a level look. “There’s this guy at work who’s cute and single—”
Elizabeth held up a hand. “Gah! No. I am so not ready for that.”
“Didn’t think so.” Jane’s smile was smug.
Elizabeth gave her sister a poisonous glare. They both knew she was hanging on by a thread, but it was what she needed to do. Why did Jane need to rub it in? Before Elizabeth could say something cutting, Jane’s phone chirped. She pulled it out to scrutinize a text. “Oh, Bing’s in the area and wants to stop by.” Instantly Jane began tapping back a message.
“Great,” Elizabeth said with absolutely no inflection. The one good result of her disastrous near love affair with the president had been that Jane and Bing had come into contact again, talked about their misunderstanding, and decided to try dating once more. Elizabeth was not surprised that they had already reached the drop-by-your-apartment stage. If any couple was meant to be, it was Jane and Bing. And Elizabeth was happy for her sister.
She was.
But she was just as happy to avoid Bing. Besides Jane, they only had one thing in common, and Elizabeth didn’t want to even think about him. “Maybe I should go to a coffee shop or something.” Elizabeth stood, collecting her tea cup.
“There’s no need for that!” Jane admonished.
“You should have some privacy.”
Jane rolled her eyes. “It’s not like we’ll fall into bed the moment he arrives. You’ve been AWOL every time he’s come over, and I know he wants to see you before you escape back to Indonesia.”
“Sure.” Elizabeth mustered a bright smile to hide her gritted teeth. Maybe she could keep it short by suddenly remembering she needed to watch her favorite reality show about rich bachelors living on a deserted island and forced to compete for a recording contract. She picked up Jane’s cup and fled to the kitchen where she didn’t need to guard her expression.
Elizabeth put the floral cups in the sink under the window with the yellow floral curtains while standing on the blue floral rug. Jane had good taste; everything went together beautifully, but the apartment was almost aggressively cheerful. Some days Elizabeth couldn’t get outside fast enough.
Her gaze was caught by Jane’s small countertop television. Even in Indonesia Elizabeth couldn’t leave her television off all the time, but she’d been fairly successful at avoiding images of Will there. How did he manage to be on every screen of every television in Jane’s apartment all the time?
Now she couldn’t tear her eyes from the sight of him shaking hands with the president of South Korea. They waved as pictures were taken, and then Will escorted the woman and her husband into the White House. Did he have a little gray at the temples? Had he lost some weight? Elizabeth scrutinized the image. His eyes were ringed with dark circles. Damn his staff! Weren’t they feeding him and making sure he slept? Wasn’t anyone paying attention?
It’s not your business, Elizabeth.
Jabbing savagely at the remote, she turned off the television and directed her gaze out the window toward the apartment building across the street. How long would it be until she stopped flinching at the sight of him? It had been almost six months. Maybe she should return to Indonesia early. There she was usually too busy to notice the hollowness in her chest cavity—except in the evening and at night and in the morning. And sometimes the afternoon.
And Jane thinks I might be ready to meet another guy. I have nothing left inside me to give someone new. Her knees were suddenly weak; Elizabeth braced herself on the sink, staring out the window to stave off tears. Her mind repeated the mantra from the past six months: It will get better. Elizabeth still believed it, but she was beginning to despair about when “better” would arrive.
