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Unfortunately, that was not the last encounter we had with him. Two years later, having wasted all his money, Wickham showed up at my sister’s apartment in New York City. He tried to seduce her—no doubt hoping that he could somehow get his hands on her inheritance. Georgiana resisted his advances, but he said some horrible things to her that left her quite shaken. After that incident, I threatened him with a restraining order if he should ever come near Georgiana again. Since he was considering involvement in politics, he decided not
to risk legal repercussions.
I wanted to reveal Wickham for who he is, but I was in the process of gearing up for my senatorial bid, and Georgiana felt that the story would my hurt my candidacy. Although we were undoubtedly the victims of Wickham’s schemes, she had no desire to draw attention to his past association with our family or, truth be told, to herself. She’s very shy and doesn’t particularly like the scrutiny that comes from being a presidential sister. So I let the matter drop, which perhaps I should not have done. It allowed Wickham to later insinuate himself into the Republican party and use his supposed “inside knowledge” of me as a springboard to secure the nomination for a New York City congressional district.
Although Wickham and I have often been at the same events, he has not attempted to speak with me over the past few years. Hilliard believes he is waiting for a good opportunity to attack me, so I was understandably disturbed when he sought you out for conversation at the Carlisle Ball. I wish I had inquired of you what he had said, but a penchant for gossip is not an attractive trait in a president.
I swear to you that this is the whole and truthful story of my relationship with Wickham. Fitz can verify all the particulars should you wish to inquire.
As to the business with Bing, I do not wish to violate his confidence. However, I can say that he was under the strong impression that your mother had pressured Jane into pursuing a relationship with him. Caroline’s discovery that your family’s company is struggling seemed to support this conclusion. In addition, your sister’s interest in Bing seemed rather tepid; I never had the impression that deeper feelings were engaged.
Bing, on the other hand, was on the verge of becoming emotionally invested in your sister. I did not encourage him to break up with her; that was his decision. But I did not dissuade him from the course either. It seemed highly probable that he would be badly hurt if your sister was primarily interested in his money. Of course, you know your sister better than I do, and perhaps I was wrong about her degree of emotional engagement.
I cannot deny the other accusations you leveled at me. I have said intemperate things I later regretted. My disparaging comments at the state dinner were patently false. Nothing could be further from the truth.
However, you cannot deny that your family displays a certain…exuberance that isn’t often exhibited at the kind of formal events we have attended together. While you and Jane are the souls of tact and propriety, the same cannot be said for the rest of your family. Unfortunately, as president, I must consider such things. Since I had considered asking you to date me, I was concerned about how your family’s behavior would reflect on my presidency. Perhaps it was wrong of me, but I feared that your family would not perform well with the spotlight of the media shining on them.
It may not be fair, but in politics, perception matters. Even such trivial things as a girlfriend’s family can make a difference in how congressmen view me and whether they adhere to my legislative agenda. I did overcome such reservations, however, and grew most eager to pursue a relationship with you. Of course, all that debate hardly matters now. Our paths are unlikely to cross again.
I thank you for reading this letter and have only one request: please do not share it with anyone, particularly not the media. It contains information that could be injurious to many people other than myself.
Please accept my best wishes for your future happiness.
William Darcy
For a long time, Elizabeth stared at the letter where it rested on her kitchen table. She had been right that it was a time bomb, and it had exploded all over her life—shattering many things she thought she knew.
She read it again, trying to absorb all the information despite feeling that her brain cells were scattered all over the kitchen floor. Of course, it was conceivable that the whole letter was a lie, but everything in it was entirely consistent with Will’s behavior and the events she had witnessed. Little things he had done and said now made sense.
Oddly, the revelations about George Wickham were the least surprising aspect of the letter. In hindsight, the congressman’s tale had been full of inconsistencies that she should have noticed. He’d been eager to badmouth the Darcys and vague about the details. Perhaps Elizabeth would have noticed if she hadn’t already been predisposed to dislike the subject of his gossip. I was so confident about my powers of discernment, and that lulled me into believing George’s pack of lies. Her throat was tight and thick. What a fool I was.
Elizabeth’s heart grew heavy over the revelations about Jane and Bing’s relationship. No doubt Fanny Bennet had said something that suggested she was encouraging Jane to date Bing for his money. How was Bing to know that Jane and Elizabeth laughed at their mother’s obsession? Nor had it ever occurred to Elizabeth that Jane’s serene demeanor would lead anyone to doubt the depth of her love. Evidently, Jane and Bing hadn’t had a frank discussion about their feelings and the future of their relationship. That could hardly be blamed on Will.
As for the rest of it…Elizabeth was forced to concede that she had not sufficiently considered to what extent his role as the president would circumscribe his life. Of course, he was concerned about how the Bennets’ impropriety would reflect on him. Even Elizabeth cringed at Fanny’s and Lydia’s antics, and she wasn’t in the media spotlight. Yet he had overcome these reservations and had wanted a relationship with her despite the risk of public humiliation.
He must really care for me.
This was the letter’s most shocking revelation: the depth of Will’s feelings. He had not been attempting to seduce her; he had been expressing a desire for a deeper relationship.
And I ruined it.
“You may be the most attractive, interesting woman of my acquaintance.” When he had uttered those words, Elizabeth had viewed them as run-of-the-mill flattery. But every woman wanted to hear a man speak such words about her. I heard them from the President of the United States—and didn’t take it seriously.
With 20/20 hindsight, his behavior was entirely consistent. He had demonstrated his growing interest by seeking her out at the ball and the summit…inviting her to the dinner and offering a ride on his plane. Only her preconceptions about his personality had led her to misinterpret every gesture…and reject him as cruelly as possible.
If someone had plunged a knife into her breastbone, it could hardly have been less excruciating. It was difficult to breathe around the pain in her chest. He had every right to experience bitterness, but instead he had written a gracious, even-handed letter, demonstrating quite some strength of character.
All this time her perceptions had been backward. She thought the funny, charismatic side of Darcy was an act—a mask he used to charm her just like he charmed voters. He was rarely that relaxed in public but was notoriously reserved. Perhaps the proud, reserved man was the true mask—which Will dropped when he was with her.
Groaning, she covered her face with her hands. Few other women had been offered that gift. And she’d thrown it in the dirt and stomped on it with both feet. Almost certainly he wanted nothing more to do with her, and yet he risked exposure to the media by sending a letter that wished her future happiness.
He would never know that Elizabeth shared his attraction—an attraction that could have bloomed into something even greater if she hadn’t actively attempted to stifle it. That kiss…
A hot tear splashed onto the table. Followed by another one. She didn’t even really know why she was crying. Over the missed opportunity of a relationship with the president? The embarrassment at how badly she had misinterpreted the situation? Or was she sorry about the harsh way she had rejected him? There were so many regrets to choose from.
Elizabeth stared at the clock on the opposite wall, weighed down by the decisions that had led her to this point. But ultimately it didn’t matter; it was too late to change anything.
Chapter Twelve
