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But all I can seem to focus on is that Megan didn’t attend the interview in Dallas. “I admit, I shouldn’t have lost my cool the way I did.” She didn’t go back to Dallas. “I didn’t realize Megan stayed in town. I hadn’t seen her, so I thought she’d decided—”
“This town may be small, but it isn’t small enough that a woman can’t avoid a man when she wants to.”
Fair enough. So, she’s purposely been making sure she doesn’t see me. That doesn’t help the gnawing sensation of guilt that’s eating away at me. “I thought she’d gone back to Dallas, Nancy.”
She nods her head. “You’ve still got her car, so how exactly do you think that’d work?”
Damn, Nancy is on a roll today. But she’s right, I’ve ignored everything except the hurt I’ve been feeling. “Fuck,” I mutter under my breath. Then, I realize I said it out loud and wince, seeing Nancy’s disapproving glare. “I messed up,” I say finally, letting out another long breath. “She said she wanted to give this thing between her and I a shot, so when I heard her say she planned to leave town, and that she had that interview...”
“Megan did say she wanted to leave Cardon Springs,” Nancy states. “But right after she said that, her next words were At least I think I want to.” She locks her gaze with mine. “You’re the reason she second-guessed her decision, Craig. And I’ve got to say, I don’t think she’s ever second-guessed anything in her life. But her feelings for you made her wonder. Made her think. She just needed time,” she says, her head tilting to one side slightly. “Just like you did.”
I feel my throat move as I swallow down the lump of emotion. “Maybe I need more time.”
“Maybe you need to realize she’s not Ella.”
Nancy’s words hit me like a slap across the face. “I never said she was,” I stammer, suddenly regretting the evenings I’ve sat across from Nancy at her dining room table, tea in hand, wishing for something stronger as I told her everything about Ella and her betrayals.
“You didn’t have to. You overreacted because you automatically assumed Meg was going to lie to you the same way Ella did.” The older woman takes a step forward and scoops my black-stained hand up in hers. “You need to stop blaming others for what happened, Craig. You need to stop blaming yourself.”
Words can’t get past the thickness of my throat as I struggle to keep my composure. I breathe in, breathe out, until I can manage to choke out, “I couldn’t save her.”
“Oh, honey...” Nancy stretches up and hugs me to her. “You couldn’t save Ella, no matter what you did. What happened to her was a tragedy, but you couldn’t have changed the outcome. But, maybe she saved you.”
I pull back, barely holding back the tears brimming my eyelids. My eyes are narrowed. “How?”
Her mouth curves into a soft smile as she stares up at me. “She gave you Ellis, didn’t she?” Nancy pats my hands and steps away from me. “You walked away from everything when your son came into your life, Craig. But now it’s time to actually start living. Ella would want that. For you, and for Ellis.”
She’s right. And the rightness of her words resonates through me so completely that I can barely breathe with the weight of it. I’ve tried so hard to do everything perfectly for so long now, in order to live for Ellis and his needs, that I’ve forgotten how to live for myself, too, pushing away everything and everyone in the process.
I bend down and plant a kiss on Nancy’s cheek, then side-step around her to flip the Open sign in the window to Closed.
“What are you doing?” she asks, her eyes wide.
“Living.” I give her a wink as I grab my truck keys from the top shelf of my toolbox. “I’ve got to go find Megan.”
Chapter Eleven
Megan
Harold has been a phenomenal boss since I started here at the Chronicle. Since it’s a small newspaper, we work pretty closely with each other on just about every aspect, and I would like to think I’m getting the hang of it quickly.
And I’d still believe it if it weren’t for my complete lack of ability to concentrate on anything other than Craig Connelly.
Every word uttered through his clenched teeth, every flash of anger that shone in his eyes when he looked at me—I just keep replaying the entire conversation over and over in my head, hearing him tell me how I lied and how I played him and hurt him and ruined everything.
I could have prevented this whole sordid thing if I’d just ignored Aunt Nancy’s jabbering about him, if I’d ignored the sexy, chocolate-colored eyes that stared into me instead of at me that first day I met him when my car broke down.
My car. I’ve spent the past four days trying to work up the courage to go find out how close I am to getting it back. As the thought wields through my head, however, I’ve convinc
ed myself that Craig is holding it ransom, purposely not calling me about it because he knows I’ll eventually have to come to him.
Well, that’s not happening. He can keep the goddamn thing for all I care.
“Megan, what are you still doing here?” Harold comes around the corner from his office, turning to stare up at the clock on the wall. “You could’ve left almost an hour ago. I didn’t realize you’d stayed.”
Not wanting to admit that I had nothing better to do with my time than work, I quirked a half-smile up at the older man. “Just wanted to get this page design out of the way before I called it a night. I’m almost done.”
“Thank goodness. That’ll get that boy off the front step, then, I’m sure.”
