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She looks lost, which makes my heart drop like lead to my feet. All I want to do is walk over to where she’s standing and wrap her up in my arms and tell her I’m never letting go, but instead, I turn my back on her pretending to look for my keys, which I know are in the dish by the door.
“Donovan, you can stop ignoring me. I know this is awkward, but it’s only a week, right? We’re both adults so I’m sure we can act like it.” She turns away, but not before I watch her wipe a tear from her face. Making me feel like the biggest jerk around.
After promising Reece I’d stay away from his little sister three years ago, I’d gone and lead with my heart, earlier and now she can’t even look at me, and I’ve upset her. If she has any of the feelings that I have for her then she’s feeling crushed as though a vice is crushing her heart because that’s how I’m feeling.
“Mara…”
“Please Donovan. Let’s just try and forget what happened earlier and move on. I start college on Monday so I’ll make new friends my own age. You don’t have anything to worry about.” She disappears into her bedroom, closing the door behind her.
Make friends my own age. You don’t have anything to worry about.
Her words have frozen me to the spot as I feel my anger slowly rising. I’ll kill any fucker who so much as looks in her direction and look they will, with her long dark hair, slim curvy figure and legs that seem to go on for miles even though she’s shorter than me. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and the only woman that’s ever taken root in my heart apart from my mother. She’s also the only woman that I can’t be with, and that tears me in two.
Chapter One
Four Weeks Later
Mara
Standing alone, I’m finding it difficult to enjoy myself despite the pride of seeing my own paintings on display. This particular one I’m standing in front of was a labor of love that took me two weeks to finish. It’s a central piece in my first showing and the whole show is something to celebrate. So why are the butterflies dancing in my belly ruining the celebration for me? I’ve never been so nervous before, and having Harry as my date for the evening isn’t helping. He’s great to talk to as a friend, but that’s all we are—friends. My heart is already spoken for and I’m not sure I’ll ever get it back.
How cliché is it that I’ve fallen for one of my brother’s best friends? Someone who, up until four weeks ago, I’d thought couldn’t stand me. Someone I thought didn’t want me around. Discovering that he is attracted to me, but refusing to do anything about it breaks my heart, but not as much as seeing him arrive here at the art show with a skinny blonde on his arm.
Harry is my date tonight, I remind myself again. I shouldn’t really be upset that Donovan has a date, but I am. I want to be the one holding on to his arm. I want to be the one to have his arms around me—his hands touching me.
Donovan has hardly been around since he moved out of the apartment he shared with my brother, Reece. I’m still living there, and would you believe my bedroom is Donovan’s old one. Reece and Callie are in their room, and because of this I’ve been sleeping a lot with cotton balls in my ears. It kind of makes me sick listening to my brother having sex, but I feel safer in the city when Reece is close by and I don’t fancy my chances on my own. Mom keeps telling me she’s sorry for blaming me over the Dahlia situation and that I can go back home. The thing is I don’t want to go back. Even though it hurts to stay, this is where I need to be.
Donovan might not come around the apartment that often, but I see him in the bar, which isn’t too far away. I’m still underage to drink, but the owner allows me inside because of the guys as long as no one serves me alcohol. It pisses me off though because Donovan always makes time to chat with the groupies that hang around him, but he doesn’t seem to have the time to chat with me—it hurts—a lot.
Sometimes I spend a lot of time standing in front of my mirror wondering what they have that I don’t. My skin is smooth with even features, and is slightly darker than my normal ivory tone because of my time spent in the sun. My skin tone though brings out the rich greens of my eyes. I’ve been told they are unique and that they have a bright glow about them. But despite everyone commenting on my eyes, my favorite feature is my lips, which are full and plump—kissable.
Growing up, as soon as I developed an interest in boys, or rather one in particular, I’d practice using my lips by puckering up and kissing my mirror. Myself and Jenny, my best friend, also used to practice on bananas after Jenny had overheard her older brother on the phone gloating to his friend that his girlfriend had given him the best blowjob he’d ever had. Of course we snuck onto the Internet to find out what a blowjob actually was, and the pictures that came up made us both want to hurl—more so when Jenny reminded me that her brother loved getting one. We were fourteen, I think.
Even though we practiced on bananas back then, I’ve still yet to put my practice into experience. I’m not a nun, but I’ve never wanted to touch anyone’s dick…until Donovan. So I guess you can say I’m saving myself for him, although I’m beginning to suspect I’ll probably die a nun.
I know I’m desired. Boys my age are always asking me out. They tell me they love my hair, which is thick, curly and floats in waves down my back. But the problem is that they always seemed too young for me. The last boy I tried to go out with came in his jeans after one, hot make out session. He’d been kissing me while grinding against my leg. As he started to slide his fingers through my hair, he’d come. It was damn embarrassing for the both of us. I still can’t look him in the eye.
But Donovan, he likes my legs. Oh yes, I’ve caught him looking more times than I can count. My legs are long and slim; even toned now that I tend to walk to the college and sometimes run between classes thanks to my bad time management skills. I’ve never caught him looking at my boobs though. Most guys look at them and talk to them, which on the odd occasion have gotten them a heel on their toe or a knee to their junk.
“Hey, sis,” Reece says, bringing me abruptly back to the present with his words and an arm around my shoulders.
I inhale and try to pull myself together. I’m supposed to be having fun, not getting lost in the past.
Slipping my arm around my brother, I snuggle into him; just needing to be held by someone I know loves me.
“What’s going on Mara? You’ve been looking forward to tonight for the past week.” He kisses me on top of my head.
“I’m fine really,” I tell him knowing my words aren’t that reassuring. “Just lost in thought.”
“Mara—”
“Hey,” Donovan interrupts. “Great work, Mara.”
Reece keeps his arm around me, but turns so we’re facing Donovan and her. None of us speak—we just stare. My heart flutters in my chest before splitting in half when I watch Donovan smile down at the woman whose hand is wrapped tightly in his.
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nbsp; Clearing his throat, Reece gives me a quick squeeze before releasing me. His smile is reassuring as Callie walks over to him and he gathers her into his arms. I’m surprised my brother came over to me without her because these days they seem to be joined at the hip.
