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Karen smiles wryly beside me when I glance at her for approval. When she nods, I turn back to Catcher. “I’d love to. Let me just tell Savannah where I’m going.”
Karen chuckles. “She has you tied in knots.”
I shake my head as I walk away with Catcher’s small hand in mine. “Did you have some cake?” I know that he’s had at least two slices of cake, but I’m curious as to what the little devil will say.
“I had ten slices.”
“Is that right?” I smile down at him, and see the matching grin on his face.
“Actually, I might have had two pieces,” he adds truthfully.
“And what are you two grinning about?” Savannah asks when we find her in the kitchen.
“We’re going outside for a few minutes.” I bend, and kiss Savannah on her cheek, whispering, “He’s asked me to play ball with him.” The fondness I have for this child and how happy I am that he’s asked me to go outside with him is difficult to hide. He touches my heart in a way that I haven’t experienced before.
“Don’t worry, just go and enjoy yourself. He’s a great kid.” Savannah quickly squeezes my hand, and letting go, her fingers linger in a caress on my arm. “I’m going to see if there’s any cake left. I still haven’t had a slice today.”
“Okay, but don’t you dare leave without me.” I smack her on the ass and watch as her eyes darken with desire. I smirk. “Save that thought for later.”
Letting an impatient Catcher tug me outside, I smile at the thought of what I’m going to do to Savannah when I have her alone.
Then again, when I find that I have to rearrange my growing erection, I let those thoughts go and find my body calming down. I settle my gaze on Catcher, and the way he tosses the ball up and catches it as it falls.
This kid has an amazing talent, and I bet in years to come, I’m going to be watching him in the playoffs. Not once did he miss the ball when it sailed through the air toward his position on the field. That’s something a lot of kids his age of six-years-old can’t do, at least not every time. He’d impressed me with his skill just like he’s doing now with the tossing and catching.
He stops suddenly, and asks, “Do you have a little boy?” so seriously. His eyes never leave mine as he awaits my answer.
“No, I don’t,” I crouch down and smile at him, “and before you ask, I don’t have a little girl, either.”
He grins. “Do you want one? A boy, I mean?” He fiddles with the ball now that he’s gotten his shy words out.
I think that I have an idea where he’s going with this line of questioning, which means I need to tread very carefully. The last thing I want to do is hurt his feelings, but the fact is, I’m not sure what the hell I want anymore.
I’d once given up on wanting a woman to love and having children, but now that I’m crazy for Savannah, all those ideas are coming back. The question is, would I be willing to break the habit of three years and start living with her—creating a family with her?
I haven’t stayed with anyone since Ryder visited me, and after that, I’m not sure if I’m ever going to be able to.
“Jace?” Catcher tugs at my cap, obviously realizing that I’m lost in thought.
“Sorry, bud.” I reach out and pull him down beside me. “I’m not in the position to look after a young boy,” I start gently. “Every day is a struggle for me. Not as much as they used to be, but I’m not sure that I can take care of someone else.” And I have demons buried deeply that I’d hate any child to see…or adult, I add silently.
“So, you don’t want me?”
Well those words helped.
“Catcher, you are an amazingly talented kid, and there is someone out there who’ll want to adopt you and give you a loving home. You’ve no idea how much I wish that was me.”
He makes my heart ache, which I rub with the palm of my hand through my shirt. Until he asked me the question about wanting him, I hadn’t realized how good that sounded.
“You want to do some catching?” I change the subject, and hope he lets me.
He doesn’t even pause when he jumps to his feet. “Yes. I brought an extra glove for you.” He passes it and my heart breaks all the more.
He’s an amazing little boy, and I wish things were different than they are. Not just for Catcher, but for Savannah as well.
Savannah
