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“I hadn’t realized I had.” I pull her back against my chest, and hold her close.
It’s too peaceful to tell her what’s on my mind—the worry I have over what she’s going to say, even though her actions give me hope. But we need to get it out of the way.
Get it out of the way.
“Hmm, Jace, I know we need to talk and I think, so we both can fully relax, we need to just go for it.”
We even think the same…sometimes.
Resting my chin on the top of her head, I place a gentle kiss and then get the conversation going, “I want to try with you, Savannah. The nights. I want every damn thing with you, and it’s killing me that I might not be able to give it to you.”
“Oh, Jace.” She turns and straddles me, which I don’t think is such a good idea while we’re trying to have a serious talk.
Cupping my face, she rests her forehead against mine. “Don’t you know,” she whispers, “that I believe you’re capable of doing anything you set your mind to. You might have had Ryder behind you, but you’ve gotten your life back on track. You wanted me and you’ve got me. I believe you can do anything.”
Swallowing back my emotion at her words, the confidence she has in me could very well unman me.
“It isn’t going to be easy,” I admit, although reluctantly.
“Nothing worth having in life is easy. We’re in this together, Jace. You and me.”
“Thank you.” I pull her down, and hold her against me. As she gets comfortable, my hand caresses her back and my fingers comb through her silken strands. Every time we’re together, her hair is always glossy and begs for my touch, just like the woman herself.
“We’re going to have to set some grounds rules,” I start, and hate myself for this weakness, but it’s the only way I feel it can work between us, “for the sleeping all through the night together to work.”
“I’ll do anything, Jace.” She lifts her head and lets me see how determined she is, and, if I’m honest, seeing her now makes me realize just how much she wants me.
“If I wake you because I’m having a nightmare, you have to promise me that you’ll quickly get out of the bed and lock yourself in the bathroom.” I tighten my hold. “I don’t want to frighten you, but it’s the only way I’m going to try us being together all night. I can’t accept hurting you so if you promise me that you’ll leave without trying to wake me, then I’ll try to do this. I want your cell in the bathroom during the night—always. Ryder suggested that you get out and use your cell to call mine, which I’ll leave in the bedroom. Hopefully, the noise will get through to me. He reckons if you do that, then you’ll feel like you’re helping and might be able to get yourself clear of the bedroom.”
The silence now that I’ve had my say is frightening, but Savannah still has her arms wrapped around me and if anything, the hold is tighter than before.
Stop doubting her!
“I’m not going to say it will be easy leaving you, but if that’s the only way you’ll stay, then I promise, Jace. I just want to be with you, and if I do as you suggested and keep my cell in the bathroom, then I can try and help that way, right?”
“Yeah,” I agree, and feel my heart pound with the decision we’re making.
This might not seem like much to someone looking in, but to me it’s huge and terrifying. I’m not even sure what we’re planning on doing will work but giving it a go is the only option, because I can’t lose Savannah.
Savannah moves away slightly, and says with determination, “Jace, we can do this…and most importantly, I trust you. Please remember that.”
“I will.” I caress her beautiful face.
Her stomach
rumbling breaks the tension that was crackling in the air surrounding us, and we both laugh.
“Did you mention barbecue?” She grins.
“I did.”
Feeling more light-hearted than I have in a long time, I start to follow Savannah into the house when I see her puttering around my kitchen. Not wanting to interrupt her, I lean against the open doorway and watch my beautiful firecracker.
Savannah
The chicken, vegetables, and potatoes are sizzling away on the barbecue while I lie back in the hammock out in Jace’s backyard. Until he’d brought me out here earlier, I’d had no idea this oasis was hiding behind his house.
The grass is green with no dirt patches, the shrubs are clipped back, and what looks to be fruit trees form a tunnel toward where he has a large water feature. He also has another set of cast iron table and chairs spread out back there. I find that I’m still a little surprised to find all this hidden.
