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Inhaling for courage, I climb out of the truck, hesitating once I’m outside. My speech was all prepared, but now I can’t remember anything. I’m used to winging-it, but I have a feeling that isn’t going to save me now.
As I glance back at Ryder in the truck, I offer a smile, which probably looks more like a grimace if anything.
He shakes his head and indicates with his hand to get a move on. I’m going to be missing my flight if I don’t.
With my belly full of fire, I make my way to Savannah’s house, which is just around the corner from where Ryder parked his truck.
Savannah
The doorbell chimes as I’m hovering over the chair at the kitchen table, about to have breakfast.
My heart beats frantically in my chest with hope that it’s Jace on the other side, and this is nothing new. Every time I’ve heard the doorbell, I’ve run with enthusiasm only to be let down when it’s my uncle or some sales person. Today instead of running, I walk knowing realistically that it’s probably my uncle coming around to check on me, which he’s done most mornings this week.
He hasn’t mentioned seeing Jace at the station and I haven’t asked, although it’s been on the tip of my tongue.
Looking through the small window beside the front door, I get a shock when I see Jace nervously pacing on the front stoop.
Why is he here so early in the morning? Why is my heart sinking and my chin quivering?
Because you know he’s here to say goodbye.
Swallowing back my sorrow, I open the door and step back for him to enter.
No words come to me, and even if I could think of something to say to make him stay, I’m not sure I’ll be able to say anything without my tears flowing.
Jace hesitates before walking inside. Heading into the living room, he stands in front of the large bay window with his hands on his hips as he looks out.
At a guess, I’d say that he isn’t really seeing anything.
His posture is one of def
eat, with his shoulders drooping and his head dipped. My arms are itching to wrap around him and hold him close, but I’m not sure he’ll accept that or me.
With a sad smile, I take my usual seat in the corner chair near my bookcase, and wait for him to turn and face me.
After a few minutes of quiet thought, I whisper, “Jace.”
He starts as though I’ve startled him. “Are you all right?”
Facing me, he offers a soft smile. “I should be the one asking you that question?”
I ignore his comment, and indicate with my hand for him to sit on the sofa.
His large body sinks down into the soft cushions, and although he’s trying to appear relaxed, he isn’t. His hands twitch, along with his foot. Sitting forward, he rests his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands before finally meeting my gaze.
“I’m not sure what to say to you, Savannah,” he admits. “I had it all planned but the minute I was walking toward your house, everything deserted me.” He glances out the window before he’s looking back at me. “I owe you so much.” His eyes look pained as his skin pulls tight across his jaw.
“You don’t owe me anything, Jace.” I believe my words.
He shakes his head.
Before I can change my mind, I go down on my knees, and start to crawl over to him.
His eyes widen, and then he shifts to allow me room between his thighs.
“Jace, you have to listen to me. I’m not going to lie and pretend you didn’t frighten me, because you did. But you didn’t hurt me…and you made me come,” I admit, a blush creeping up my neck. “That wouldn’t have happened if you were hurting me, so please stop beating yourself up about it. It hurts me deeply that you think you raped me. You didn’t, Jace. I don’t feel violated. I only feel hopeless because I’m unable to help you. I love you.” At this point, tears are running down my face, but I’m too afraid to let go of his thighs to wipe them away, in case he escapes.
His own eyes are red-rimmed as he cups my face in his hands. “I love you, Savannah…which is why I can’t stay.”
