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“She hadn’t been feeling well, and after numerous tests, they decided to operate. She was fully aware that there was a possibility of losing her womb during the operation to remove the growth attached to it. That happened.”
When I see the tears on my dads face, I climb onto his lap like I did when I was a child and wrap myself around him. Offering comfort while taking my own.
“They said they got it all, but to be on the safe side, she’s having radiotherapy.” He grips me so tight; I can hardly breathe until he loosens his hold. “She’s going to be okay.”
I nod, crying into his chest. “Why didn’t she tell me? She’s my twin. I’d have been here with her every single day.”
“She was angry because of the situation she’d found herself in, and she lashed out at you. She’s sorry about that now, she didn’t want you to find out while you had the chance to finish up your language program in Italy.”
“I need to see her.”
“I know.”
“You’re exhausted though, so tell me where she is and I’ll go to her while you get some rest.” I frown. “You’re not staying here though, right? It doesn’t feel like anyone has been here for a while.”
“We’re at the hotel next to the hospital. I’ve come to get her a couple of books from your bookcase.”
“Then we’ll get the books, and I?
?ll take them too her while you rest.”
Dad goes to argue but I put my hand over his mouth. “I don’t want to have to worry about you and Dad making yourselves sick. Promise Dad that you’ll look after yourselves as well?”
“I promise.”
“Will you get the books from my room.” I move to sit in the armchair. “I didn’t pack all of them, so there should still be some there. I need a minute.”
He nods and disappears into my room while I try and control my emotions. How do I forgive myself for living my life so happily while she’s suffered through so much? “I should have been here for her. I would have been if I’d known.”
“She knows that, honey.” Ramon leans against the doorjamb, listening to my private conversation with myself. “You ready to go?”
No.
I nod.
The minute we enter the hospital the nerves in my belly grow until I feel dizzy with fear. My palms are sweaty and my forehead feels clammy.
Ramon glances at me from the corner of his eye, a worried looking passing over his features.
Hospitals have always made me nervous but add in the fact that I’m going visiting my sick sister. My twin. The guilt that is eating away inside of me is unbearable. I was so selfish, when she needed me the most. Why didn’t I realize she needed me?
“Stop!” Ramon makes me jump with the sharpness of his tone. He turns me to face him. “You have done absolutely nothing wrong. Paige made the decision to keep this to herself. She didn’t even tell us, Rachel.” His voice cracks. “We only found out because we’d arrived to talk to her as she was getting into a cab. We followed and confronted her.”
He shakes his head. “She’s always been the stubborn one.” He smiles. “You can’t blame yourself for anything. Paige is to blame for not telling anyone. No one else but Paige. Of course, we’d never tell her that because then she’ll be upset, and she already has enough to deal with. But please don’t blame yourself for anything.”
Ramon pulls me into his arms and holds me close. “Noah and I have always loved you for who you are. That will never change.” He cups my face in his rough hands. “I’m so sorry we hurt you in Italy. We love both our girls unconditionally.” He moves closer and holds his lips against my forehead in a lingering kiss.
“Let’s go and see your sister.”
“I’m afraid,” I admit.
He wraps an arm around my shoulders and keeps it there as we enter Paige’s room.
Paige and Noah turn to the open doorway and are surprised to see me with Ramon. I hold Paige’s gaze and burst into tears seconds after she does.
I run to her bed, and kicking my shoes off, I climb in with her, minding the wires and her stomach. We cling together, and I only faintly hear the door closing.
I had the feeling that I’d be in tears the moment I laid eyes on her, and that’s exactly what I did. It feels good to be with my sister again and I’ve missed her so much.
