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Derek
Since I’ve been spending my nights, and days, with Madison, I’ve discovered areas of my body that I didn’t know I had. Either that or it’s my age. But either way, I ache in places where Madison massages every night, to loosen me up she says. I think it’s just an excuse to get her hands on me, not that she really needs one.
I don’t have a problem remembering my age because she makes me feel younger, but when I do, I struggle with what I’m doing. I’m in love with her but I’m not sure whether I should continue to encourage her, letting her think we have a future, or whether I should be the responsible one and end things. If I ended what we have she wouldn’t be the only one heartbroken, which is why I’m finding this more difficult than I should.
It doesn’t help that I’m aware Tanner doesn’t agree with my choice in partner, and that bothers me more than I care to admit. I’d told Madison that I was in this with her regardless of his feelings on the matter, but I’m not sure anymore. I’m not really sure of anything.
The one thing that I am sure of, is that I love her.
The love I have for her is so fresh and different to anything I’ve ever experienced before that I know I want to keep it…but am I being selfish? Madison has a lot more years left than I do, but I’m also aware that could change—god forbid.
My friend Garrett is of similar age and he’s a changed man now that he has a family and kids. His wife is Madison’s cousin and she’s a similar age, so why am I having so much trouble accepting what I’m doing?
I know why, and he’s currently riding into the stables on his stallion with Geary.
Tanner has been my number one priority since he’d been born, more so after his mother had died. His acceptance of my relationship would mean more to me than I think he knows— far more than I’ve let on to Madison.
I glance to the end of the deck where Madison is cuddled up with her cousin, my daughter-in-law, and softly smile when she notices my gaze set on her. She so beautiful and she never fails to take my breath away.
The sick feeling that I have in my stomach grows and watching Madison’s smile turn into a frown as she notices my grimace, I realize that I need to have a deep talk with my son.
I love Tanner, but I also love Madison and don’t want to lose either of them.
With a strong purpose driving my steps, I head toward the barn and nod to Geary who shakes his head before leaving me alone with Tanner. Geary is aware of what is going on because he sees every damn thing. He’s too observant for his own good sometimes.
“Geary, can you grab—” Tanner pauses when he sees me standing behind him, and not Geary as he’d expected.
“We need to talk, and I figured it would be best for us to be alone.”
Tanner sighs and starts brushing his stallion down, giving him time to cool down. “I don’t kn
ow what you want me to say Dad.”
“I’m not sure what I want you to say either or what I want to say, maybe we could start with your objections to my relationship with Madison?”
He scoffs. “Relationship? Is that what you’re calling it.”
Holding my temper in check, I push forward. “You like Madison. She’s part of your family now.”
“I don’t like her with you. It just isn’t right.” He tosses the brush onto the workstation and indicates for me to follow him as he leads his horse into the paddock where he has fresh food and water waiting for him. “I know Garrett found someone much younger than him, but he didn’t have a fully-grown son who is two years older than her.” He sighs and leans on the fence.
My heart hurts realizing just how set against us he truly is. “Won’t you at least give it time, get to know Madison better?” I run my hands through my hair. “I love her, Tanner. I’ve been falling in love with her from the moment we met and I’m not sure what to do with all the feelings running around inside of me. I thought that if I had your blessing, they would ease. I’d be settled on the inside.”
“Dad,” Tanner starts, his voice full of emotion, “I love you. You’ve always been there for me, supported me…I’m just not sure I can support you in this. It’s weird.” He finally meets my gaze. “I always thought that when you met someone that she would be closer in age to you. I didn’t expect this.”
“You know yourself how you can fall in love in the blink of an eye. I never expected to ever find a love for the second time, but I have. I love her. It’s as simple as that.”
“But there’s nothing simple about it.”
“It really is simple. We love each other. I want to be with her and live here on the ranch. She loves it here and hates the city and I guess the only thing standing in our way is you.”
Tanner shakes his head. “Dad, don’t put that on me.”
“It’s the truth. At the end of the day I know myself well enough to know that if you really are against me being with Madison, I’ll walk away, no matter how much it breaks both of our hearts.”
“Then I’m going to feel like a complete bastard.” Tanner drops his head into his hands, wiping the sweat from his forehead, and then looks at me from under his lower lids. “Let her go to Boston with Charlotte to visit Paige, and then see how you feel without her around. If you miss her like crazy and she does you, then I’ll welcome her into the Jackson family.”
I hadn’t planned on Madison going anywhere, but I do know she’s worried how Paige is doing. Life is all about compromise, so I can do this. “I’ll never stop Madison from going anywhere she wishes, especially when it involves family. I just don’t understand why you can’t accept her now, but you say you will later. It’s not fair Tanner, you’re hurting her too.”
