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“Yes,” I whisper, so close to tears.
“Go now and we’ll be on the plane waiting for you, and honey, we love you.”
“I love you both.” Hanging up the phone, I turn and notice I still have an audience.
“Your family have their own plane?” His mother asks.
“Yes.” I finally turn my eyes to Seth as I’m edging toward the door. “Thank you for everything, but all you ever had to say is that you’d had enough, and my family would have gladly stepped in. You know that.”
Turning away, it isn’t until I’m in the cab with the door closed that Seth appears, calling my name. I lock the door and indicate for the driver to put his foot down.
He wants me gone so I’m going.
53
Seth
What have I done?
I’m an asshole and I don’t know if I can do anything about it now. I broke any trust that she had in me. I showed her how much of a spineless idiot I am by letting her go, letting my mom talk to her like that. It killed me. My gut has burned for the week she’s been gone, and I think I’m ready to explode with anger.
I did what I thought was right, no matter how much I’d wanted her to stay. I wish I’d talked to her instead of allowing my mother to get to her. I should have protected her, but I knew if I did, that I wouldn’t have allowed her to leave. I’d have begged her to stay.
My relationship with her is probably forever over, and just when I felt she was finally seeing me in a different light. But what Paige hadn’t realized, and unfortunately, I had, was that she’d needed to go home to her fathers. She needed her family to help in her recovery. She needed that, and I wish to hell I’d been honest with her instead of letting everything play out the way it had. I’d needed to make sure she went without any argument because I know myself, and I wouldn’t have been able to let her go if she’d wanted to stay.
After she left, my family had left two days later, so I’ve been left to wallow in self pity and a hell of a lot of guilt. Not only that, but I’m constantly wondering how long I can wait before I follow her to Lexington and beg for forgiveness. It would serve me right if she slammed the door in my face.
Sighing, I notice the tide has moved closer to where I’m sitting, telling me I’ve been out here far too long. My eyes focus on the soft waves lapping at the shore, only to pull back leaving seaweed and other debris behind before sweeping forward once more, pushing them closer toward me.
Hearing a throat being cleared, my attention moves to the man standing close behind me. I recognize my friend Dylan’s voice but the sun setting in the distance, blinds me from seeing anything more than a silhouette.
Dropping to the sand, he stares out to the horizon, his arms wrapped around his knees. “I came here because I was mad as hell,” Dylan snaps, not entirely happy, “but you look just as bad as Paige does.”
I let silence settle over us before I can’t resist asking, “How is Paige? Is she eating? Sleeping? Getting some exercise?”
Dylan laughs, shaking his head. “Why did you let her think you’d had enough of caring for her? She’s under the impression that you only helped her because of your friendship with me. You pushed her away.”
I swallow hard, not answering.
“I haven’t seen her smile once since she’s arrived home. She forces food into her mouth because she knows she has to, to get better. She takes short walks with one of us everyday, and we push her a little bit further every other day. Apart from her sadness because of you, she’s doing well.” Dylan runs his hands through his hair. “You’re like a brother to me, Seth. It’s been you and me since we were placed in the same dorm room, but right now, I don’t know what to do with you.”
I grunt in response.
“You’ve had the hots for Paige since you met her, so there is no way she became an inconvenience to you—her words in case you were wondering.”
Wearily, I turn my gaze on my best friend. “I’m not tired of her Dylan. That would never happen.” I Sigh. “Ramon and Noah love her and have been worried about her spending all of her time with me. Paige wouldn’t head home. They wanted her home. My parents wanted their beach house back and me back to doing something with my life. I had Paige who I knew wanted to stay with me, but what the hell can I offer her back in Boston? I share a small three-bedroom apartment with you and Jaxon. There isn’t room to have Paige living with me. After everything she’s been through, she needs wide open spaces. She has panic attacks when we’re in the city.” I pause. “The last time we went, I got her to wear an eye mask, so she wouldn’t see the traffic, the buildings. It helped, but there is no way she is capable of living in a city right now.”
I look back out to the ocean. “It killed me letting her think I wanted her gone, but it’s the only way I could think of to force her to leave. I’ve become her security blanket in a way. I know her, and she wouldn’t have left unless I forced her to.”
Dylan curses under his breath. “So, you let her think you’re an asshole instead of giving her the choice.” I sense Dylan glaring at me. “That’s it, isn’t it? You didn’t want to give her the choice because you were afraid of what she’d choose?” He laughs. “You’re an idiot. With how moody she is I can pretty much guarantee that she’d have chosen to go back to Boston with you.”
“Well, I screwed up big time and I’m sure she hates me now.” I drop my head between my knees trying to catch my breath. “I love her Dylan and now I feel as though part of myself is missing. It was rough being the only one she depended on during her treatment and recovery, but we made it through. I love her.”
Dylan stays silent for less than a minute when he snaps his fingers. “You’re not going back to Boston yet.”
“I’m not?”
“No. You’re coming to Lexington with me.” He grins when I glance his way. “My uncles will welcome you there. You are going to stay right under Paige’s nose so that she has no choice but to see you every day. And you,” he points, “are going to find a way to make her forgive you for being a jackass because it’s really going to suck if you don’t get back together.”
