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“I am now.” I smile and squeeze his hands to reassure him that I’m okay.
I’m not really because I want to be in his arms, but I don’t want him worrying about me, and what I’m feeling.
AIDEN
I can’t look away from Sarah holding Francesca in her arms. My niece is asleep and the longing for Sarah to be holding our own child in her arms threatens to bring me to my knees.
Even seeing the knowing smirk on Mateo’s face from the corner of my eyes, I can’t look away from her.
My siblings know how I feel about Sarah. They’ve held their tongues and haven’t questioned me, trusting my judgment.
Tired of hiding my feelings, I step into her and wrap one arm around her waist from behind and use the other to cover hers around Francesca. I rest my chin on her shoulder and quietly put her at ease before she can pull away.
Sarah turns her face up to mine and the love she can’t hold back is written all over her. I return her smile before I dip my head and kiss my sleeping niece.
“She’s beautiful, Erin,” I say, glancing up at the proud mama in the bed with my brother holding her hand, his head now on her lap and his eyes half closed.
“Thank you. I love how she has Mateo’s eyes and lips, and my nose.” Erin smiles. “I don’t see the nose really and I’m sure Mateo only told me that because she looks like him, but I’m just happy to have given Mateo a healthy daughter.”
“I love you, baby,” Mateo whispers, nearly asleep. His hand goes around his wife’s hip to draw her closer.
“We’ll leave you to get some rest,” I offer and smile when Sarah carefully places Francesca in the hospital crib.
“She’s so precious,” Sarah says. “I’ll come and see you when you’re home.”
“We will,” I add, letting Sarah know that I consider her my other-half now, and she grins back at me.
Walking out of the hospital, I guide her over to the bench at the side of the large building. Soon her smile won’t be as bright if she feels as much for me as I do her.
This morning when I got notice that I’d have to leave for a while, my initial reaction had been to go and see Sarah and ask her to come with me. It hadn’t taken long for my brain to kick into gear and realize that she has a business here that she can’t just walk away from. So I knew then that I wouldn’t even ask her and put her in the position of having to refuse, which is her only choice. There’s no other vet in town and not only does my family rely on her, but other farms in the area do too.
“Aiden?” she questions, and I realize that I’ve worried her with my silence while I try to justify why I’m not asking her to come with me.
I sit on the bench and turn to face her. “My sponsors have a couple of things for me to do before I part ways from them.”
Sarah bites her lip and hesitates. “That’s good though, right? It means one step closer to being free.”
I rub at my brow and want to curse at my damn life. “My commitment is that one step closer to being finished.”
“Why do I detect a but in there?” Sarah squeezes my hand. “Just tell me, Aiden.”
“I have to go to Europe.” I puff out a lung full of air as the words come out of my mouth. “I have this European trip to get through and then I have to film a commercial. After that I’m free of all contracts and I can do my own damn thing.”
Sarah looks as though her mind is spinning while I feel like my lungs are no longer allowing me to breathe.
“When do you leave?” she whispers, her face nearly as pale as the snow on the ground.
“A couple of days.” I don’t expand and I know the question is on the tip of her tongue, and then she asks it.
“For how long?”
I swallow around the lump in my throat. “A month, six weeks. It could be slightly longer.” I cup her pale face in my hands and make her look at me. “I promise that I’ll be coming home to you. I promise you, Sarah. You’re going to be all I can think about.”
Sarah nods and smiles, making all the right noises, but all emotion has gone from her eyes as she obviously protects herself from whatever she thinks is going to happen.
She has my heart and that’s good enough for me to hold on to while I’m away, and I intend to claim every piece of hers once I’m home.
Little does she know that I’ve spoken to Greg and laid all my cards out on the table about my feelings for her. The other man already knew which made things easier for me. He’s promised to keep a close eye on her and to let me know if it seems like she needs me home before I’m due to arrive. I’m willing to walk out on my commitments if it becomes a choice between her and my contracts.
