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“Confused?” I frown.
“He’s never had a woman who consumes his every thought. He’s never been so hooked that he’s jealous, until you. So yeah, he’s confused.” Kasey sits back and watches me closely. “You’ve hurt him now,” Kasey accuses.
“I’m hurting too,” I sob and grab a handful of napkins to cover my face.
“Fuck,” Kasey curses. “I didn’t mean that the way it came out. Well, I did,” Kasey stumbles over his words, “but I didn’t mean them accusingly. I was meaning that you have the power to hurt him, which should tell you that what you both feel isn’t something to just walk away from without even trying.”
I glance at him through the napkins, and he chuckles before adding, “I know mom isn’t going to be happy about it, but don’t you think you should at least see where it could go?”
“You have no idea how much I wish I could,” I admit. “He means a lot to me, Kasey, and spending time with him will only intensify those feelings. It will hurt all the more when we part company.”
“If you part company,” Kasey adds. “It also looks like it’s hurting a lot right now.”
“It is.” I inhale, and add, “Do you know that I have a twenty-three year old daughter?” I see by the surprise on his face that he doesn’t. “Her name is Andie and she’s away at College. She has a job out there, but she’ll be home soon.” I meet Kasey’s gaze. “There’s only five years between her and Diego.”
I gaze out of the window wishing that circumstances were different so that I wouldn’t be feeling so heart broken. I’ve laid myself bare to Kasey because I need someone to understand why I have to back away from Diego, even though it hurts the both of us to do it.
“I didn’t realize that there was more to you pushing him away than your age. Now I don’t know what to tell you.” Kasey closes his eyes and looks tired, as though he hasn’t slept.
“Are you okay?” My question surprises him.
He glances away before returning to meet my eyes. “I can’t talk about it.”
“Oh.” I sit back in my seat.
Kasey shakes his head. “It isn’t that I don’t want to talk about it. I’ve been asked to keep it quiet. Which means I can’t talk to family, or friends. I’m including you under friends.”
“Okay.” I smile, apologetically. “I’m sorry I pushed, but right now I think I need to leave, and you need to go and make sure Diego is okay… Please.”
Kasey nods and standing, he tugs me into his arms. Mine go around his waist. “If you need anything Rae, please call me. I know you have my number.”
Stepping back, I meet his gaze and frown. “How?”
He grins. “I snuck into Diego’s room last night while the others were in the waiting room. Diego had me program his number into your cell. I added mine as well,” he confesses.
I offer him a watery smile to say thank you.
“Take care of yourself Rae.”
I nod and make my way out of the hospital to where the sun is already high in the sky. It’s another beautiful day and I’m going to end up wasting it inside, wallowing and hiding away from the feelings I wish I didn’t have.
1
Diego ~ Two weeks ago
My shoulder has healed quickly without any loss of movement, which is why the doctor has given me the all clear to return to work.
I’ve worked around my parent’s horse farm, but they’ve already got a full staff and I usually only lend a hand when I’m around. I think I’ve probably gotten under their feet even though they wouldn’t tell me if I had.
My job as a hotshot—now that I’ve left the fire department in New York—tends to be intermittent, with a lot of down time. Usually I wouldn’t mind this, but all of the spare time has me overthinking and longing for the one person who won’t give me the time of day, drives me crazy, and makes me angry.
I know her reasoning, and I’ve heard every word Kasey has said to me, but that doesn’t stop the hurt I feel at not having her the way I need her. So what if Rae is forty-three, fifteen years my senior, it doesn’t bother me. I know it bother’s my mom a lot, and until I’d told her to stop, she’d constantly let me know it.
Rae is the sexiest, sweetest, woman I know, and she wouldn’t hurt a damn fly. It hurts me to know that she’s been on the receiving end of my mom’s tongue whenever they bump into each other in town. Aiden has promised me that he’ll check in on Rae, while I avoid mom.
We can’t live so close and carry on the way we have been doing. It just doesn’t work like that, but I sure as hell don’t know what else to do.
Even Aiden, her best friend and my brother, has told me that it’s best to stay away from her to keep the peace. I’ve decided that I’ll give Rae space, which is fucking hard to do, but then I’m going after her.
