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“Are you kidding me?” I lean half over the table toward him. “You with your rules about dating and guys. I’m nineteen, soon to be twenty. I want to go to college. I want to be able to date him out in the open without fear that you’re going to do something to ruin it for me. I want my own life, which also includes you. You’re my brother, my only family. I never want to lose you, but I need more than you are able to give me.” I smile to soften my words. “I also want to see you happy. There’s someone out there waiting for your badass to knock them off their feet…Don’t you ever get lonely? I mean really lonely for more than what I can offer because I’m your sister?”
He sits forward. “That’s a low blow, Sis.”
“I’m just pointing out that we both need to have our own lives. We’ll always be family, Blake. No matter where our journey takes us, you’ll always have me. I’m just talking about a little more independence.”
He’s listened to me and I’m glad to get everything out, I’m only hoping that he understands and accepts what I’ve said. I dip my head and find that I’m surprised when I notice a small bowl of crab and sweet corn soup in front of me.
Blake smirks. “I was in earlier and ordered all our favorite food.” He sighs and stares out the window before returning his focus to me. “Truth?”
“That’s what you wanted from me, so yes.” My heart beats erratically in my chest while I wait for him because this conversation is going well for now. He hasn’t blown his top, but that could still happen.
“I’ve kept you close because I know what young jocks want, and that isn’t a lasting relationship, but I’m also a selfish asshole.” He holds both my hands. “I’m terrified that you’re going to find someone who will take you away from me, leaving me alone. You’re all I really have in this world, Felicity. I can’t lose you.”
I tug a hand free to swipe at my tears, and tell him, “I meant every word that I said. You’re my brother. My family. The man that I’ve met is older than me and he has a large family who he’s close to. I want you in my life and to be a part of whatever the future holds for me, just like I hope to be a part of whatever the future holds for you.” I hold his hand tighter and continue, “I want you to please try for me. If you keep an open mind you’ll see how much he cares for me. He’s important to me.”
“You know I hate seeing tears on your face,” he grumbles, and I smile through them. “I’ll try, okay? I do want you happy regardless of what I’ve led you to believe.”
I smile, and after I’ve used a napkin to clean my face, I add, “I want you to promise me that you’ll stop with the tramps because I’m going to find you a nice girl.” I grin. “Someone who will keep your head turned her way, and off me.” My grin widens when Blake
’s eyes narrow. “A nice girl won’t be interested if she sees you with the ice bunnies.” I give him a pointed glare.
“Shit.” He shakes his head. “No way in hell am I even having that conversation with you.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not blind. I know you have sex. Lots of sex.”
He slams his hand over my mouth. “Do not. Ever. Say the word sex. Never, Felicity.”
“Yes, brother dearest.” I chuckle and particularly enjoy making him uncomfortable.
He slumps back in his chair. “I sure as hell didn’t see this conversation going the way it has.”
“Me either.” I slurp my soup on purpose because I know how much it annoys my brother.
“Christ, it’s like eating with a two year old,” he mumbles around his own spoon of soup.
Ignoring him, I finish the soup in record time, which I always do because it’s my favorite. I shove the bowl to one side and rest my elbows on the table with my chin resting in my hands. “Can I ask you something?”
He freezes and I can see his brain ticking as to what now. Very slowly, he places his spoon back in the bowl and waits.
“Has there ever been anyone who you thought could be the one?”
His eyes widen but he stares at me thoughtfully. “I’ve never wanted to find the one. I have you to worry about and that’s even been more than I felt I could handle on the odd occasion.” He sits forward, resting his arms on the table. “You’re family and you know that I don’t let anyone get too close. Not since Mom and Dad died. This talk today has opened my eyes to how I’ve stopped you from living. You have no idea how sorry I am for that.” He looks down at the table, avoiding eye contact.
“I love you for it, but now that I’ve found someone that I want to get to know, I need you to be on my side and not try to push him away, okay?”
His eyes narrow again, and then it’s as though a light bulb has gone off in his head. “I know him, don’t I? That’s why you haven’t told me his name?”
“Maybe,” I whisper.
He shakes his head. “No maybe. I do know him. What I don’t understand is why you won’t tell me his name.”
“I will,” I nervously add, “just when I’m sure you won’t kill him for wanting to be with me.”
We stare at each other and silently eat the remainder of our meal, which consists of chicken noodles.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to admit to Blake that it’s Kasey that I’m falling for. Hell, whom I kidding? I’ve already fallen.
9
