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I’d craved someone to call mine but it was a faceless idea. Just something to look toward the future for, but there was something about the girl who was now leaving. My first thought was to follow her, but I’d probably terrify her with my size. Could I let her leave without knowing her name or how to see her again?
You don’t have a choice…she might not want to see you again...it’s dangerous to see her again…
“Fuck!”
I needed just one glimpse before I went back to my fucked up life.
Moving quickly, I punched through the doors and caught a leg disappearing inside a cab before the vehicle took off.
Disappointment settled inside of me as I stood on the sidewalk and watched her disappear out of my life. The sad fact was that she hadn’t really been in it to begin with.
Sighing, I rubbed the back of my neck and turned.
Julio stood behind me.
He smiled. “She’ll be back, my friend.”
I stared after him as he disappeared back inside the bar.
What was wrong with me chasing after a girl? I’d never done anything like it before, never had the opportunity to do so before, and the need settled heavily on my chest.
The way my thoughts had gone would be dangerous if anyone even suspected the longing I had. Just to feel the tender touch of a woman.
Someone who they didn’t bring me.
Someone who wasn’t paid to be nice to me.
Someone who I’d only send away.
Just once I wanted to know what it would be like to have such innocence in my life.
My head thrown back, I breathed deeply and gazed up at the sky, angry at how my life had turned out.
Would I ever get the chance at
a future that didn’t involve fighting?
I sneered at the irony of it all. If you had asked me when I was fourteen, all I’d wanted was to be a fighter so I could be one of those guys my dad idolized. I’d wanted to do that so I was close to him but that changed the moment he ran from that alley…the moment I realized I’d meant nothing to him.
When everything had first happened, I didn’t believe that he would leave me like that. I thought he’d come back. Every time we were in public, I looked. Every time I entered the arena, I would look for him from under my hood. I’d keep my head down but my eyes searched for him. If I was honest, they still did. I have never stopped searching and I never would.
My father was warned away from the fights, but it’s been years so why wouldn’t he be back after all that time? I knew him, and he wouldn’t have stayed away for long. He probably spent the years since I made my debut betting on me. Had he made a fortune off me while I paid off his debt with the bastard he’d given me to?
I still don’t know the fucker’s name but I’ve heard people call him the “Irishman” in fear. One day he would be mine, and he was going to tell me the full story of what went down ten years ago. His men had hinted that there was more to it than what I heard that night. I’d never figured out what the more was. But I would even if it took another ten years.
With my fists clenched, I pulled my hood low over my head so I wouldn’t be recognized. I glanced up and down the street before I made my way down the sidewalk and back to hell.
Evie
I SHOULDN’T REALLY BE here, but I couldn’t go home when I felt so out of sorts. The feeling had suddenly hit me not long after I’d arrived at Julio’s bar, and even as I let myself into Millie’s apartment my heart still beat frantically in my chest.
That was twice in two days, not even twenty-four hours between. What the heck was going on with me? Millie would talk me around. To what, I had no clue. I basically needed her to tell me what an idiot I was being. She really was the most down to earth person that I knew and she was never afraid to tell me the truth.
“What the hell.” I fell into Millie’s apartment mid-thought when the door was yanked out of my hands.
“Are you okay?” Millie grabbed me seconds before she tugged me inside and slammed her door closed. “I thought you said you’d never need the security card I gave you to this place.” She frowned.
“I didn’t even think about that.” I shrugged, placed my purse on the floor and tugged her over to the sofa. “Something really weird happened and…and I think I’ve finally lost it. I mean,” I rushed on, “how many twenty-two year olds get freaked out during the day in a bar all because I felt eyes on me, as though the person wanted to eat me up.”
