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Their conversation brought my tears back as I let my forehead drop to rest on the closed door.
I don’t hear anything else from the buzzing in my ears as my blood rushes through, and then the women disappear and all is quiet again.
Briefly pulling myself together, I dry my tears, knowing that I’m heading home alone. I’ll go to his house tonight because I have nowhere else to go. For now, I just need to sleep so that the alcohol doesn’t do the talking for me.
Overwhelmed with sadness, I make my way out of the hotel and ask the doorman to call me a cab, which has me home in the next twenty minutes.
35
Jarrod
Sick to my stomach, I enter my home, knowing that Ivy is here upset, at least according to the marshal watching the house.
My attention should have been on her tonight instead of being social with my colleagues and associates. I’d told myself that I’d detach from them over dinner and just enjoy Ivy’s company but of course those plans went up in flames when I discovered Ana, sitting on my other side. She’d monopolized my time with questions that I tried to answer, and before I knew it the award was being announced with me as the recipient. I’d been nominated for this award in recognition of my work, the same as I always was, and never won, so the fact that they’d called my name had been a shock.
My heart had sunk to my feet when I’d turned and snapped at her, the look on her face at my harsh words undid me. I wasn’t angry with her, I was angry and frustrated with Ana for keeping me from Ivy. Sometimes, I’m too damn polite for my own good.
The look on her face killed me, and when she’d turned away from my kiss, and whispered, about the lipstick on my face, I heard the thickness in her voice. I tried to catch her eyes, but she refused to meet my gaze and then Ana was pushing me toward the stage.
On the stage I couldn’t see anyone for the light shining into my eyes, but the minute I left, I’d stopped the waitress and asked if she knew where Ivy had disappeared to, only to have her tell me that she didn’t think the lady was well because she’d refused all food.
It was at that point that I’d sought out my boss. It had only been a matter of time before I did what I’ve wanted to do for the past year.
I’d looked for her and eventually someone had told me that she’d climbed into a cab. It was at that point that my heart had cracked. So it was with a weary heart that I climb upstairs and head toward our bedroom, hoping that she is there.
When I push into the room, I freeze and so does Ivy. She’s wearing pajamas and has her hair up on the top of her head in a messy, relaxed style. Her face is pale, her eyes puffy and swollen, and as she watches me, tears begin to run down her cheeks.
I move closer, but she takes a step back, holding a hand out to stop me. “Don’t,” she whispers, shaking her head.
I drop my ass to the edge of the bed and let my shoulders droop as I stare blindly at the floor. “Then let me talk.” I meet her watery eyes and let her see the anguish in mine. “You really are the world to me and tonight I screwed up royally. I never meant to hurt you. I just got carried away talking about a case, and the…the kiss from Ana took me completely by surprise. I was shocked by the award and by her reaction. I shoved her away and turned to you. The look on your face will always be with me. You looked completely betrayed and I’ll never be able to tell you how sorry I am. I didn’t want her kiss or her congratulations. I only wanted yours.”
Ivy sits on one of the two comfortable chairs in the room. “I didn’t even know you’d been nominated for an award.” She shrugs. “Shouldn’t I have known?”
“I’ve been nominated for the past six years and never won. I don’t think about it anymore. I never meant to keep that from you. It just hadn’t crossed my mind.” I give her a sad smile. “I never expected to win.”
“It isn’t just that, Jarrod. All night you introduced me to a colleague or an acquaintance, but I spent the night being ignored, talked about, or sneered at. I hated every minute of it. You ignored me through most of the dinner. Nothing. Oh, the leech on my opposite side knew I was there, and took a liking to my thigh, but you, the man I’m engaged to, couldn’t be bothered to even acknowledge me. How the hell do you think that made me feel? Or what do you think your indifference to me told everyone who witnessed us together?”
Kicking my shoes off, I then get down on my knees and move in front of Ivy. I take her hands and sigh with hope when she doesn’t refuse me. What I really want to do is hold her in my arms all night, but I’m not sure that’s going to happen now.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. It’s always been you, Ivy. I have no interest in anyone else, and certainly not Ana. Tonight I was trying to be polite in front of everyone, except I failed miserably at making my fiancée, the only woman I want, happy.” I rest my forehead against her hands in her lap. “I love you, Ivy.” I lift my eyes to meet hers. “You’re the only one I want, and…and, I quit.”
“What?” she whispers in surprise. “What do you mean?” She frowns. “You quit your job? You love that job.” She shoves the chair back and drops to her knees in front of me, her palms lying flat against my face. “Jarrod, talk to me.”
My lips twitch. “I thought that’s what I was doing.”
She rolls her eyes.
I kiss the tip of her nose and then rest my forehead against hers, holding her soft gaze. My heart thuds heavily in my chest with relief that she won’t be going anywhere.
“Since Gia was threatened last year, I’ve been thinking about resigning. I do enjoy what I do, most days anyway. The thing is, other than Gia, it’s all I’ve ever had, now I have you. I’m not prepared to do a job that will keep me away from you.”
“But—”
“No honey, my job is long hours and I’m not doing that anymore. Money isn’t a problem, but I told my boss on the way out of the hotel that I’m leaving. I’m giving him a months notice and then I’m gone from the court.” I smile and admit, “I’m taking twelve months off, and during that time I’m hoping you’ll marry me, and maybe get pregnant.”
She smiles through her tears and wraps her arms around my neck in a loving embrace. My arms go around her waist and hold her tightly against me as my face nuzzles into her neck. “I’m really sorry ab
out tonight. I promise you it will never happen again.”
