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"And I don't know why I'm being allowed to get through to you, whether it's sheer will, my will, I mean, of which I have a great deal by the way, or whether it's some sort of grant of moments, I don't know! But I went after you-1 followed you from the flat and back to it and then out with the body and I came here and I have to talk to you. I'm not going to go without a struggle, until I've spoken with you. "
"Something's waiting for you," I whispered. This was awe. Plain and simple. "And then, after we've had our chat, if you don't dissolve, where exactly are you going to go?"
He shook his head and glared at the bottle on the center rack, flood of light, color, labels.
"Tiresome," he said crossly. "Shut up. "
It had a sting to it. Shut up. Telling me to shut up.
"I can't go looking out for your daughter," I said.
"What do you mean?" He threw an angry glance at me, and took another sip of his drink, then gestured to the bartender for another.
"Are you going to get drunk?" I asked.
"I don't think I can. You have to look out for her. It's all going to go public, don't you see? I have enemies who'll kill her, for no other reason than that she was my child. You don't know how careful I've been, and you don't know how rash she is, how much she believes in Divine Providence. And then there's the government, the hounds of government, and my things, my relics, my books!"
I was fascinated. For about three seconds, I'd utterly forgotten that he was a ghost. Now my eyes gave me no evidence of it. None. But he was scentless, and the faint sound of life that emanated from him still had little to do with real lungs or a real heart.
"All right, let me be blunt," he said. "I'm afraid for her. She has to get through the notoriety; enough time has to pass that my enemies forget about her. Most of them don't know about her. But somebody might. Somebody's bound to know, if you knew. "
"Not necessarily. I'm not a human being. "
"You have to guard her. "
"I can't do such a thing. I won't"
"Lestat, will you listen to me?"
"I don't want to listen. I want you to go. "
"I know you do. "
"Look, I never meant to kill you, I'm sorry, it was all a mistake, I should have picked someone. . . . " My hands were shaking. Oh, how fascinating all this would sound later, and right now I begged God, of all people, please make this stop, all of it, stop.
"You know where I was born, don't you?" he asked. "You know that block of St. Charles near Jackson?"
I nodded. "The boardinghouse," I said. "Don't tell me the story of your life. There's no reason. Besides, it's over. You had your chance to write it down when you were alive, just like anyone else. What do you expect me to do with it?"
"I want to tell you the things that count. Look at me! Look at me, please, try to understand me and to love me and to love Dora for me! I'm begging you. "
I didn't have to see his expression to understand this keen agony, this protective cry. Is there anything under God that can be done to us that will make us suffer as badly as seeing our child suffer? Our loved ones? Those closest to us? Dora, tiny Dora walking in the empty convent. Dora on a television screen, arms flung out, singing.
I must have gasped. I don't know. Shivered. Something. I couldn't clearing head for a moment, but it was nothing supernatural, only misery, and the realization that he was there, palpable, visible, expecting something from me, that he had come across, that he had survived long enough in this ephemeral form to demand a promise of me.
"You do love me," he whispered. He looked serene and intrigued.
Way beyond flattery, Way beyond me.
"Passion," I whispered. "It was your passion. "
"Yes, I know. I'm flattered. I wasn't run down by a truck in the street, or shot by a hit man. You killed me! You, arid you must be one of the best of them. "
"Best of what?"
"Whatever you call yourself. You're not human. Yet you are. You sucked my blood out of my body, took it into your own. You're thriving on it now. Surely you're not the only one. " He looked away. "Vampires," he said. "I saw ghosts when I was a boy in our house in New Orleans. "
"Everybody in New Orleans sees ghosts. "
