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And I walked with him down to the front entrance where the torches shone too brightly on us for my taste, and saw him virtually disappear into the dark.
In a matter of seconds, I could hear no more of him. I gave silent thanks.
I reflected. How I hated Mael. How I feared him. Yet I had loved him once, loved him when we'd been mortals even, and I'd been his prisoner and he had been the Druid priest teaching me the hymns of the Faithful of the Forest, for what purpose, I didn't know.
And I had loved him on that long voyage to Constantinople, surely, and in that city when I'd given over Zenobia to him and Avicus, wishing them all well.
But I did not want him near me now! I wanted my house, my children, Amadeo, Bianca. I wanted my Venice. I wanted my mortal world.
How I would not risk my mortal home even for a few hours longer with him. How I wanted so to keep my secrets from him.
But here I was standing in the torchlight, distracted, and something was amiss.
Vincenzo wasn't very far away, and I turned and called to him.
"I'm going away for a few nights," I told him. "You know what to do. I'll be back soon enough. "
"Yes, Master," he said.
And I was able to assure myself that he'd sensed nothing strange in Mael whatsoever. He was as always ready to do my will.
But then he pointed his finger.
"There, Master, Amadeo, he's waiting to talk to you," I was astonished.
On the far side of the canal, Amadeo stood in a gondola, watching me, waiting, and surely he'd seen me with Mael. Why had I not heard him? Mael was right. I was careless. I was all top softened by human emotions. I was too greedy for love.
Amadeo told his oarsman to bring him alongside the house.
"And why didn't you go with Riccardo?" I demanded. "I expected to find you at Bianca's. You must do as I say. "
Quite suddenly Vincenzo was gone, and Amadeo had stepped up onto the quais, and he had his arms around me, pressing my hard unyielding body with all his strength.
"Where are you going?" he demanded in a rushed whisper. "Why do you leave me again?"
"I must leave," I said, "but it's only for a few nights. You know that I must leave. I have solemn obligations elsewhere, and don't I always return?"
"Master, that one, the one who came, the one who just left you¡ª. "
"Don't ask me," I said sternly. How I had dreaded this. "I'll come back to you within a few nights. "
"Take me with you," Amadeo begged.
The words struck me. I felt something within loosened.
"That I cannot do," I answered. And out of my mouth there came words I thought I'd never speak. "I go to Those Who Must Be Kept," I said as if I couldn't hold the secret within me. "To see if they are at peace. I do as I have always done. "
What a look of wonder came over his face.
"Those Who Must Be Kept," he whispered. He said it like
a prayer.
I shivered.
I felt a great release. And it seemed that in the wake of Mael I had drawn Amadeo closer to me. I had taken another fatal step.
The torchlight tormented me.
