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"Amadeo, say nothing more to me of this!" I cautioned.
When we reached the bedchamber and locked the door, he gave way to terrible tears.
"Master, I could tell her nothing of what had happened to me! And to Bianca I would always tell all. Oh, not the secrets of you and me or the Blood Kisses, no, but of other things. How often I sat with her, and talked with her. Master, I went to her so often by day and you didn't know it. She was my friend. Master, this is unendurable. Master, she was my sister. " He sobbed like a small boy.
"I cautioned you on this, did I not?" I said furiously. "And now you weep like a child?"
In a rage, I slapped him.
And in shock he fell back away from me, but his tears flowed all the more
"Master, why can we not make her one of us! Why can we not share the Blood with her?"
I took him roughly by the shoulders. He didn't fear my hands. He didn't care.
"Amadeo, listen to me. We cannot give way to this desire. I have lived a thousand years and more without making a blood drinker, and now you, within months of your own transformation, would make the first mortal for whom you feel inordinate love?"
He was crying bitterly. He tried to free himself from me, but I would not allow it.
"I wanted so to tell her of the things I see with these new eyes!" he whispered. The blood tears spilled down his boyish cheeks. "I wanted so to tell her how all the world is changed. "
"Amadeo, know the value of what you possess and the price of what you give. Two years I prepared you for the Blood, and even so the giving of it was too rapid, spurred on by Lord Harlech's poisoned blade. Now you would visit this power upon Bianca? Why? Because you would have her know what has befallen you?"
I released him. I let him fall on his knees beside the bed, spilling his tears as he cried.
I sat at the desk.
"How long do you think I've wandered this Earth?" I asked. "Do you know how many times it had crossed my mind in carelessness and wanton temper to make another blood drinker? But I did not do it, Amadeo. Not until my eyes fell upon you. I tell you, Bianca is not to be what we are. "
"She'll grow old and die!" he whispered. His shoulders moved with his sobs. "Are we to see it? Are we to watch this happen? And what will she think of us as the years pass?"
"Amadeo, stop with this. You cannot make all of them what we are. You cannot make one after another without conscience or imagination. You cannot! For everyone there must be preparation, learning, discipline. For everyone there must be care. "
Finally he dried his tears. He stood up and he turned to face me. There seemed an awful calm in him, an unhappy and grim calm.
And then there came a solemn question from his lips.
"Why did you choose me, Master?" he asked.
I was frightened at this question, and I think he saw it before I could hide it. And I marveled that I had been so unprepared to answer such a thing.
I felt no tenderness for him suddenly, for he seemed so strong as he stood there, so very certain of himself and of the question which he had just put to me.
"Did you not ask me for the Blood, Amadeo?" I responded, my voice cool. I was trembling. How deeply I loved him, and how I didn't want him to know.
"Oh, yes, sir," he responded in a small, calm voice, "indeed I did ask you but that was after many a taste of your power, was it not?" He paused, then continued. "Why did you choose me for those kisses? Why did you choose me for the final gift?"
"I loved you," I said without further ado.
He shook his head.
"I think there's more to it," he answered.
"Then be my teacher," I answered.
He came closer to me, and looked down at me as I remained seated at my desk.
"There's a bitter cold in me," he said, "a cold which comes from a distant land. And nothing ever really makes it warm. Even the Blood did not make it warm. You knew of this cold. You tried a thousand times to melt it, and transform it to something more brilliant, but you never succeeded. And then on the night that I came near to death¡ªno, was, in fact, dying¡ªyou counted upon that cold to give me the stamina for the Blood. "
