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Hayes leaned back against the corner of the L-shaped counter. Resting his hands on either side of his hips, he gave her a tantalizing view of…well, his amazing self.
“When I came home last year for a brief visit, I could tell he was much worse, but this time…”
Hayes shook his head and didn’t finish. Alexa couldn’t imagine having either of her parents not know who she was. How crushing and life-altering that must be. Hayes truly battled quite a bit between the PTSD and his father’s mental state. So tragic.
“I’m sure he’d be proud of what you all are doing here,” she replied. “Clearly, your parents raised some powerful children. Tell me more about your brothers.”
Hayes pushed off the counter and went to the cabinet to grab a couple of bowls. “Not much to tell. Nolan and Colt are in love and married with kids. The only time I see Beau is when his face is on the screen. That’s all.”
Okay. Clearly, he loved his family, but he had some hang-ups. Not territory she wanted to venture into, and he’d made it crystal clear she wasn’t welcome into the personal side of his life. Probably best all the way around if they kept their emotions out of the mix.
She didn’t think that would be much of a struggle for Hayes, but she was one to get attached. Between her job and raising a toddler, her emotions were always getting involved in the lives around her. Simply because she and Hayes had just met didn’t make her any less compassionate toward him, his burdens and the family who no doubt loved him and wanted to help him heal.
Alexa had to keep reminding herself this was simple. Adults did flings all the time. Not her, but other adults.
“I wasn’t trying to make this any more than what it is,” she informed him. “I’m not asking to meet them, just figuring out a way to pass the time.”
What time was it anyway? This had been the strangest day and she couldn’t keep track between the storm making the sky dark, the midafternoon romp and nap session, and then not eating.
Hayes scooped out hearty portions and sat the bowls on the table. Then he grabbed a loaf of bread and started slicing it.
“If you tell me you made that bread, I’m going to force you to come home with me and cook because I burn microwave noodles.”
“Hell no, I didn’t make this.” He laughed. “Nolan brought this to me the other day. It’s from our favorite bakery in town.”
“Sweet Buns?” she asked.
“The very one.”
After he got everything on the table, including sweet tea, she held on to the back of her chair and stared at the intimate dinner. It was simple, yet…still intimate and so like when she and Scott first got married.
“You all right?” he asked, taking a seat.
Blinking back the burn in her eyes, Alexa kept her gaze on the intimate setting. It didn’t seem all that long ago she’d set the table for her husband. They’d share a meal and conversation, taking for granted how simple and perfect their life had been.
Alexa swallowed the lump in her throat. She’d not mentioned anything about Scott. Bringing him out into this temporary fling would make all of this seem more real, or like she was fully ready to move on. She hadn’t quite gotten there yet.
“We all have our demons to face, don’t we?”
Hayes fisted his hands on the table and pulled in a deep breath. “Let’s take our dinner elsewhere.”
She tipped her head, clutching her hands in her lap. She was a guest in his house and she didn’t want him to make adjustments simply because her own issues snuck up and had her in a chokehold.
“Where do you suggest we go?”
Hayes came to his feet, grabbed his bowl and drink and jerked his head toward the front of the house. “Follow me.”
* * *
Hayes had no clue what he was doing, but he’d seen Alexa’s white knuckles as she’d stared at the dinner on the table. He hadn’t even asked what she’d been through in the past, but obviously something spooked her when it came to…what? Eating with him? Sitting down to a kitchen table?
She’d asked about his family a few times, so if he were to add the pieces together, he’d guess whatever plagued her had to do with her own family.
Regardless, Hayes was glad to get out of there as well because eating together in his kitchen was a different level of intimacy. Sex was one thing, but settling down to a dinner he’d made? Yeah, that seemed to be sliding right into that relationship territory he’d vowed to stay far away from.
And a relationship with a woman and a child? No. Because if he got involved with a mother, then he’d be involved with a kid. He just couldn’t do that, not to an innocent baby.
Years and years ago, before he went into the Army, he’d thought of having a family of his own. He saw his wife here at the estate helping to raise their children. He imagined teaching them about ranching. Then reality and war and all the ugliness crept in and corrupted every pure thought he’d had about the picture-perfect family.
“In here?” she asked, standing in the door to the study.
Hayes pulled himself from his thoughts and gestured her in ahead of him. “You seemed pretty happy in here earlier. And that was even before you started stripping for me.”
