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“She loves you. And you love her. Why apologize for that?” I shrugged as if it were no big deal. But it was. Because their love was rare and amazing, and every fucking day I wished it was me she was in love with.
“Because if it was you she’d fallen for, then this would’ve been so much easier,” he mumbled. “Because that was eleven years ago, and you’re still in love with her.” He wiped his forehead. It was cold outside, but a film of sweat soaked his brow.
“So what?” I said. He was being ridiculous. “You think she’d change the last nine years?” I shook my head. “Not for a fucking second. You can’t turn off your feelings.”
“You did,” he shot back.
My face flushed. No. I hadn’t. That was the problem. The way I felt about Em was there, every second of the day. You can’t choose who you fall in love with, but you can choose whether you act on those feelings. And I’d chosen not to.
“Because it’s easy to do when the feelings aren’t mutual.”
He shrugged, as if he didn’t completely agree. “You know, there was a moment there when I was sure she was into you. Eighth grade. She used to hang off your every freaking word. Everything was Seth this and Seth that. I was sure I had no chance with her. It’s funny how things turn out.”
He swished his near-full can of beer, tipping it out in a slow stream into the sand. I watched as it frothed up before soaking through the grains, disappearing into the earth. His words stuck with me. What if she had been interested in me? How different would all our lives be right now if it were me she was with today?
She was perfect in every way, and I’d spent the last fourteen years fighting my feelings for her. But she was my best friend’s girl. And he was dying. Part of me hoped that meant we could someday be together.
And that made me a complete asshole.
***
“Can you get that camera out of my fucking face?” Em groaned, burying her face in the crook of her arm.
Andy laughed and continued to film her as she washed the dishes. “What? You should be flattered. I’m the one who’s dying, and I’m filming you. If anything, you should be filming me.”
“Like you’d ever give me control of the damn thing. It’s like it’s joined to your hand,” she grumbled, her mouth twitching into a smile.
I chuckled. She was right. Since we’d gotten here, he’d recorded nearly every moment.
“You want it? Come get it,” he taunted, his dark eyes sparkling.
“Oh yeah?” She threw off her gloves and walked over to him, bending over as he hid the camera behind his back, laughing. “You sneaky little shit.” She laughed as he kissed her neck. “Give it to me.”
“Come on, Em. I can barely move, and you can’t get it off me? Weak.” She squealed as he tickled her sides.
“Seth,” Em said, lunging forward and missing the camera again, “help me. Hold him down while I get it.”
I laughed. “That sounds just wrong. You want me to hold down the cripple in the chair so you can steal his camera?”
“Yeah,” Andy said with a grin. “What he said.”
Em rolled her eyes and stepped back, poking her tongue out at me. I laughed. She shook her head like she didn’t care, when it was so obvious she did. She didn’t like to lose. The five year old in her came out whenever she didn’t get her way and it was hilarious to watch.
“Seriously?” She threw up her arms at Andy, who was continuing to film her.
He chuckled, setting the camera down. “Fine. Here,” he said, handing it to her. “And on that note, I might go to bed.” Andy yawned.
I glanced at the clock. It was barely seven.
“Big day tomorrow.” He grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.
God, why did that make me nervous? After yesterday, what else could he have planned?
Chapter Ten
Seth
The days were moving by quickly. With each day brought a new adventure, and a new way for Andy to punish Em and I. But I was okay with that, because he was happier than I’d seen him in weeks. If it took a few stupid stunts to make the last few weeks of his life a little more bearable then hell, I’d give him that.
