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To my surprise, he
laughed. “I knew you’d do that, man. You wouldn’t let me go without her saying goodbye. That’s why I love you,” he said. His voice trailed off as he fell back into a deep sleep. Em sobbed next to me.
“Shh, come here.” We stood up. I pulled her toward me, wrapping my arms around her. She couldn’t stand the thought of losing him, and the time was getting closer and closer. “I’ll be here every step of the way, Em.” I reached down and kissed the edge of her jaw, tasting her salty tears.
I looked up and saw Marta standing at the door. She shifted awkwardly, as if she were embarrassed about interrupting a moment. I smiled, letting her know it was okay.
“There are people here. For the wake.”
Shit. I’d forgotten about that. Em turned to me, her eyes wide.
“It’s okay. I’ll explain to them what’s happening.” I squeezed her hand as she sat back down. I followed Marta down to the living room.
“Marty.” I grinned. Fuck, it had been years since I’d seen him.
He laughed and walked over to greet me. He patted my back as we hugged. “How are ya, Sethie?” He shook his head. “Geez, man, you don’t look any different.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I wish I could say the same thing about you,” I joked. I turned my attention to the blonde standing behind him, cradling a baby. “Are you going to introduce me?”
“Yeah, this is Mandy.” He grinned, holding his arm out and motioning for her to come over. She smiled and stepped over to us. “My wife. And this is Bailey, our little boy.”
I peered over at the little bundle wrapped in a soft blue-and-white blanket. He made a face and smiled at me, making me laugh.
“He’s gorgeous. How old is he?”
“Nearly four weeks. Yeah, we’re pretty happy with him,” he said, winking at Mandy. She rolled her eyes and nodded. “How’s Andy?” he asked, his voice turning serious.
“Not good,” I said, wincing. “Unresponsive most of the time now, and in a lot of pain.”
“Fuck,” he muttered, shaking his head. “This sucks. Poor guy. How’s Emily?”
“Barely coping,” I replied grimly. “About how you’d expect her to be. His family is on their way.” I hesitated. “Look dude, I know you’ve come a long way . . .”
Marty shook his head. “No, we completely understand. Is there anything we can do? Do you want me to contact the rest of the guys and tell them not to come?”
“I don’t even know who’s invited.”
“He emailed a bunch of us. I’m pretty sure I have most of their numbers. Leave it all to me. You just be there for him. And Emily.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Emily
I didn’t leave his side all night. Caught up in my own guilt and sadness, I held his hand in mine, my fingers softly stroking his dry, worn skin. The doctor had just been by to write up some morphine, and Seth was calling his parents.
Andy didn’t have much time left.
I watched him as he slipped in and out of consciousness. Every few minutes, he opened up his eyes and stared at me in shock. It was like he didn’t even recognize me. Wiping away a stray tear, I took a deep breath. I refused to let myself think of anyone other than Andy. Why hadn’t I told him that yes, I was still in love with him? Would it have killed me to lie? He was fucking dying, for Christ’s sake.
I wasn’t ready to let him go. I needed him, no matter how selfish of me that was. I needed him. He was going to die never knowing how much I’d loved him. My feelings for Seth weren’t real. We were both grieving for our best friend’s impending death. Seth was comforting. He understood. It was easy to confuse that connection for something deeper.
“I’m so angry at you right now,” I whispered. “Why did you have to push me away?” His last few weeks on this earth and he’d spent them shoving me into the arms of another man. How was I supposed to accept that? So what if Andy was okay with it? Nobody else was going to be. His parents were the closest thing I had to a family. How would they ever understand my being with Seth?
***
Seth came up behind me. I froze as his fingers grazed my shoulders, his touch incredible against my skin. I needed my mind to stop turning, because all it was doing was confusing me even more.
“His parents are here,” he murmured.
