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“Broccoli and sprouts.” Well, I wasn’t that far off. Even I wouldn’t eat that.
“Look, you have to make it fun. No kid is going to eat that. You have to pick vegetables that are edible, for starters.” I loved that he was asking me for advice. For once I didn’t feel like the inexperienced one in our relationship. “Tell you what. Boil some potatoes, pumpkin, carrots and beans, then fry them off together, all mashed up, and serve it on toast. Tell her it’s my secret recipe.”
“You’re secret recipe hey?” He repeated, amused.
“Just do it. And call me back.” He laughed and agreed to call me back. My stomach rumbled. All that talk of food had made me hungry. All that was in the fridge was some mince, and a few vegies that were heading past their prime. Maybe I could pull a Masterchef moment and make something out of all this.
Twenty minutes later, my full plate of pasta was looking pretty good.
“Open up, Em!”
I rolled my eyes. Cass had the worst timing. I put aside my dinner and ran to the door.
“Do you purposely wait until it's a bad time, or is that just luck?” I teased her. She looked up at me in mock horror.
“I guess it's just luck.” She poked her tongue out at me. “I can go if you prefer. And take this shopping with me?” She held the bags within my view and started backing toward the lift. I eyed the bags. We both knew she'd won this round.
“Get in here.” I grumbled. “If you want pasta, there is leftover in the pot.” Cass never said no to a free meal. She joined me on the couch, her plate piled high with pasta. I envied her ability to eat whatever she liked and still stay so thin. It's not like she exercised either. Her idea of exercise was shopping. She caught me looking at her.
“What?” She asked, her eyebrows creasing.
“Nothing. I wish I could eat like you.”
“Why not? Not like you ever go out. Who is going to care if you're a few pounds bigger?” She faked a surprised look. “Oh, that's right. Professor Hottie.” She teased. I rolled my eyes at her and gave her the finger. “His eyesight is probably so bad it won’t matter what you wear.” she made a face at me. “You know, being so old and all.”
“Jealous much?” I gave her the finger. “He’s 38, not 60.”
“Jealous?” Cass made a face. “Not me, but I'm sure I could name quite a few females who would be royally pissed off.” Cass licked her fork and giggled. “You should hear the talk about him before classes. I swear half his roll is only taking the class to perve.”
“I can understand why.” I giggled. Cass smiled too. It was good to be able to talk to her about him. I needed this.
“So” Cass began, pausing to pile another mouthful of pasta into her mouth. “How did it all start? Have you done the deed yet?” Good old Cass. Always the romantic. No messing about with her.
“No, I told you we haven't even kissed yet. I'm not sure I want to.” I did want to. I wanted to really badly. I just wasn't sure I could.
“Things will go smoothly so long as you are open about things.” Cass was right. I knew that. “And that's a two way street. Both of you need to be open about what you want from the beginning. It's obvious there is some level of attraction there, but you need to think before you pursue it. There are lots of things riding on this. You both have baggage.” she added seriously.
Strangely though, that was far from my biggest concern. In the back of my mind paranoid Emma was screaming 'what if he rejects you'.
“If you tell him how you feel and it goes nowhere, it’s not a reflection on you, Em.” Cass echoed my thoughts. “And I don't want to go on about the negatives, but have you really thought about the age difference?” I shot her a look. She raised her hands defensively
“I don't have a problem with it, but some people might Em. Your parents for a start. His parents. His friends.” Cass put her empty plate on the table. “His daughter.” Her eyes showed nothing but concern for me. I knew Cass, and I knew she just wanted me prepared. For everything.
“I can barely move past the fact that I like him. How others will view it hasn’t even entered my thought process.” Had he thought about it? How his friends and family would react? He hadn't spoken about them much. Cass was quiet. She looked at me.
“Em, there is also the school board, should they find out. And the DA office. I am positive it is a bad career move for him, getting involved with a student.” She said quietly.
She came over and wrapped her arms around me. It had never occurred to me that I could ruin his career. It was a given the university would not approve, but it wasn’t against the law. Student and professor relationships weren’t encouraged, but they happened. Only he wasn't just a professor. He was the Assistant District Attorney. Any kind of scandal would surely effect his position, and any chance of furthering his career. Was I ready to be responsible for that?
“Em, I'm just trying to get you to consider everything. Both of you.” She kissed my forehead as I fought back tears. Suddenly, she was pulling me to my feet. “Enough of the pity party. Let’s get your outfit ready.”
Chapter Nine
“Hello?” I call out. My head hurts. Everything hurts. I glance around the room. I shiver. It is so cold. I struggle to remember what happened. How did I get here? I look down at my hands. The rope is starting to rub through my skin. I begin to cry.
I woke up, breathing hard. My hands gripped the soft suede fabric of the couch. My couch. Another nightmare. No matter how often they came, I could never get used to them. They left me feeling so empty and scared, just like I did when I was ten years old. I rubbed along my arm, the sweat apparent on my fingers.
I stared at the cream ceiling above me. The feeling of it closing in on me slowly began to subside. My alarm sounded. Simon would be here soon. I needed a shower. Why did I think a nap was a good idea?
