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“You look beautiful.” He whispered. Tonight he looked amazing, in a polo shirt and loose fitting black pants. He handed me a bunch of roses. My eyes lit up.
Flowers. I'd been so taken by him I hadn't even noticed him trying to hide them behind his back. I took them, fingering the stem of one of the flowers.
“So,” I began. Shit I was nervous. Tonight felt no easier than last night. I was still a ball of worry and nerves. The only difference was tonight I was more nervous because there was actually a chance things might progress past kissing. Why had I assumed that getting the first kiss out of the way would make the rest that little bit easier? If anything, it was worse. Now that I knew how much I wanted him, I was so terrified of stuffing everything up.
“Are you okay with this, Em?” Simon grabbed my hand and led me to the couch. I let him sit me down.
“I’m just really, really nervous.” I admitted. “And a little bit scared if I'm going to be honest. It's been a long time since. Well...” I blushed. There was no way to finish that sentence without sounding like a freak. Simon laughed, he touched my arm, my body tingling in response. There was no doubting it, my body definitely wanted him.
“If it makes you feel any better, I'm bloody nervous too.”
“You?” I cocked my eyebrow, eyeing him suspiciously. Somehow I found it very hard to believe that he could be nervous. He had that cool older guy vibe going on. No way could he ooze that and be nervous.
“Yes really.” His voice hid any nerves well. “I’m at a student’s house, who is almost half my age, and all I can think about is kissing her. Again.” I ran my tongue over my lips and watched as his eyes grew bigger with anticipation. I bit my lip, a move that almost made him orgasm on the spot. The way he looked at me, deep into my eyes, I could see how much he wanted me. It made me feel so…horny.
Yes. Horny.
Now there's an adjective I don't think I've ever applied to myself.
“You want to kiss me? Then kiss me.” He looked as shocked as I felt with my bold statement, but he didn’t need to be told again. He slowly leaned in, breathing in my scent. His nose brushed mine causing me to shiver with anticipation. I was terrified of him touching me, yet I needed him to touch me.
Gently, he placed his lips on mine. I could feel his breath. I could taste the saltiness of the sweat just above his lip. His hand entangled my hair as he kissed me with more force.
“God you are beautiful.” He groaned, breathing in my neck, placing kisses all over my skin. Each kiss awakening a little more of the sexual beast inside of me. His touch was something I'd never experienced before. I wanted more.
His hand guided its way up my leg, lifting my skirt in the process. He pushed me against the wall, neither of us caring the door was still wide open. His kisses intensified, his hand cupping the nape of my neck. I was vaguely aware of where this was going, yet I didn't want him to stop. His hand moved down my thigh, lifting my skirt higher.
I began to panic. This was all wrong.
“Simon, no.” He looked down at me, his eyes awash with confusion. He'd stopped right away. I tried to move away from his grasp. He held onto my hands and pulled me into his arms.
“It’s okay Em. As slow as you need to go.”
I knew then, right at that moment, I loved this man. I might not be able to show him that yet, but I loved him more than I've loved anything in this world. He gently eased me out of his arms.
“Let’s sit down. We can watch some TV.” He suggested. I smiled, nodding. He turned on the TV. An episode of The Late Show was playing. Neither of us were focusing on that though. His eyes were gazing at me. I felt embarrassed. Why was he staring at me? I bit my lip. He groaned, pulling my lip out of the clutches of my tooth.
“If you keep dong that I will have to kiss you. You have no idea how crazy you make me.” He nuzzled up to me, kissing my neck. I led his face to mine, letting his lips enclose around mine. “You are amazing Emma. Simply amazing.”
That night we kissed. We kissed for hours, barely taking a moment to focus on anything but each other.
By the end of the night, all I wanted was for him to kiss me again.
“So how have things been this week, Emma?” I hesitated, conflicted on whether or not to tell Doctor Mellow about Simon.
“Good.” I began slowly. “I have been trying to work though things in my head.” I glanced toward the balcony. “I’ve managed to sit a chair in the doorway of the balcony with the door.”
“That is a wonderful start, Emma. You need to keep pushing yourself. Each day go a little bit further.” He scratched his elbow through the thick material that was his plaid jacket.
From a parachute tracksuit to a plaid suit? Seriously? I suppressed a laugh, glad that his ability to understand the mind was more advanced than his fashion sense. “And have you found something to distract yourself with?”
“Someone.” I corrected. Dr Mellow looked at me, confused. “I’ve met someone.” He looked surprised by this. Shocked even.
“Oh?”
“His name is Simon. When I’m around him, I don’t think about things. And when I’m not with him, I think about him.” Should I tell him? “What I tell you has to stay between us, right?”
“Right.” He spoke slowly.
