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What the hell?
“Simon?” Instantly he was down beside me, clutching my hand.
“Shit Em, you scared the hell out of me.” His face was etched with worry. His eyes were red and puffy, unable to disguise the fact that he'd been crying.
“What happened?” I mumbled. I closed my eyes again, the urge to rest overpowering the need to know what was happening.
“You texted me, and I couldn't get in. I called your mom, but she was so far away I called the police.” He bit his lip, suddenly looking sheepish. “I owe you a new door.” I shook my head, trying to remember. The door hung on by one hinge, a big hole in the middle of the front, no doubt from his foot.
“What?” I prompted. He looked uncomfortable. And nervous. Really nervous. Like he wanted to day something I wasn’t going to like hearing. I was more alert now. What happened? Why was he shit scared to talk to me? He sensed my agitation and put his hand on my arm.
“I saw your laptop.” he hesitated, cocking his head slightly, like I was a puzzle he was trying to work out. “You saw Derek has been released.” I began to cry. Now it all made sense. Memories of the events of the day raced back through my mind. Released. Free. Free to attack again. What if he came after me? Here I was locked away in a prison and he was going to be out there.
How the fuck was I supposed to cope with that?
“Shh, it's okay Em. I won’t let him hurt you.” I looked at him helplessly. I loved him for wanting to help, but I hated him for promising something he couldn't keep.
“You don't know what. You're not always with me. You don't know what will happen” I cried. My heart was racing again. Mom looked on, her face creased with worry. She glanced at Simon. They exchanged a meaningful look.
“I'll move in.” Simon said. He said it so easily, like it was the simplest thing in the world.
“Doesn't mean you will always be around.” I argued. “And no, I don't want to risk Maddie getting caught up in this.”
“I will have a squad car shadow you 24/7 if that is what it takes for you to feel safe.”
“I will never feel safe.” I whispered softy, not caring how dramatic I sounded. “Not even a hundred police cars could make me feel safe.” All I could think of was how tragic I seemed. I was sounding more and more like a Danielle Steele movie each day. Simon helped me to the bed, with the help of one of the ambulance officers. I felt numb and woozy. A side effect of the injection they had given me, according to the ambulance guy. I let myself be laid down and accepted the tablets given to me.
“They will help you sleep.” Someone said, I was not sure who. Everyone was sort of blurring into one another. I thought I could see moms head poking around the bedroom door, but I also thought I saw her cartwheel across the room. I closed my eyes, unable to trust my sight.
“..She can't be left alone.”
“..Might try it again.”
“She won’t be. I can be here.” Simon. I knew his voice.
“You can't be here all the time. At least at home there will be someone around all the time.” Oh god no. The last thing I wanted was to go back home. I tried to make my voice work, with no success.
“I think she needs to be here. She needs that stability. I will have someone on her all the time, and when I'm not here I will arrange for Cass, or Tom to be here.” Simon's voice was firm. Forceful, even. He knew what was best for me. Mom didn't respond. Strange. Mom always had a comeback.
I dosed off.
The light shined through the crack in the curtains, hitting me right in the eye. I really needed better curtains. I sat up, stretching. Shit I felt bad. I remembered most of yesterday, but the anxiety and panic had mostly eased. My rationality had kicked in. I knew the chances of Derek coming back for me were extremely low. I also knew Simon would have the entire police force on my doorstep if he needed to keep me safe. I tiptoed out of the bedroom. I could hear voices. I wanted to hear what they were saying. The door of the living room blocked their view of me. Both Cass and Tom were there, Cass curled up on the couch, Tom sitting on the floor opposite.
“I know, but for what that bastard did to her, he should rot in hell.” Cass's voice was hard. She had no sympathy for Derek.
“I know he hurt Em really bad. I know he stuffed up her life, I am not taking his side. I am just saying, as someone studying law you need to be impartial to your personal connections, and look at the facts. The facts are he did his time, without incident, and he, whether you agree or not, deserves the chance to make right.”
“You've got to be fucking kidding me. I can’t believe I had a crush on you. How can you expect me to be impartial when this asshole ruined my best friend?” She said forward, angrily. “How can you be so impartial?”
“I'm not fucking impartial. I am one hundred percent behind Em. I'd kill the guy if it meant protecting her. I'm just trying to point out the importance of staying neutral in the profession you’re going into.” He shrugged helplessly. He knew there was no way he was going to win this argument.
I gently pushed open the door, making them both jump in surprise.
“Em!” Cass rushed over, giving me a hug. “You're up.” She grabbed my hand and led me over to the couch, forcing me to sit down. Tom smiled at me.
“I was worried about you Em. You okay?”
“You know then?” I asked. He and Cass exchanged a look.
