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I thought I’d known love before I met her, but those feelings were nothing compared to what I felt for this beautiful creature lying in front of me. My heart literally swelled every time I caught sight of her, smelled her, or touched her. Imagining my life without her was impossible because without Em, there was no me. No me worth living, anyway.
Leaning forward, I kissed her cheek. She didn’t stir, which was unusual for her, being such a light sleeper. The years of nightmares had messed up her sleep pattern pretty heavily that even me rolling over in bed was often enough to wake her. It was never just opening eyes awake either. It was jump up in a panic kind of awake.
I reached forth and draped her hand in mine. Her hand was limp. A lump rose into my throat as I knelt down beside her. This wasn’t right.
“Em.” I whispered, shaking her gently. No response. “Em.” I said again, this time louder and with much more urgency. Still nothing. I fumbled for my cell and called 911. My hands shaking so much I could barely press the numbers.
“Hello I need an ambulance now. My fiancée, she’s not breathing. She’s pregnant and she’s not breathing.” I panicked, my mind blank. What the fuck am I supposed to do?
“Sir, what’s your address?” the dispatcher asked clearly and loudly, I rambled off the address while sliding my arm under her neck and back. I gently lifted her down onto the floor, the cell lying beside me on loudspeaker.
“Okay, sir what’s your name? Is she breathing?”
“Simon and no, she has no pulse,” I replied, placing my two middle fingers on her neck. She was still warm. Tilting her head back, I began CPR.
“Okay Simon, I?
??m going to walk you through giving her chest compressions. I’ll be right here with you and the car is less than five minutes away.” I vaguely listened to the dispatcher as I continued with the compressions.
Breathe, breathe, one, two, three.
Breathe, breathe, one, two, three.
“It’s unlocked!” I yelled out as the ambulance officers knocked on the door. Two officers ran into the room. I moved out of their way, watching as they worked on her, her chest rising and falling in tune with the compressions of the officer. A breathing tube was placed down her throat which was then connected to a bag.
Fuck.
Come on Em. I need you.
I ran my fingers through my hair, gripping my hands behind my head, feeling sick. How long had she been like this? If only I’d left work earlier, maybe I wouldn’t have been caught in all the traffic.
“I’ve got a pulse,” one of the officers said to the other. My heart jumped as he began to hook her up to a ventilator before moving her onto the trolley they had carried in. A pulse, she had a pulse.
“Okay, let’s get her out of her now.” He glanced up at me. “Your wife has a pulse, but we need to get her to the hospital ASAP. You can come with us or follow us there.”
“Fiancée.” I corrected numbly. “I’ll follow,” I added, not wanting to slow them down for even a second.
I stood awkwardly out of the way as they wheeled her out of the house on the trolley. The flashing lights of the ambulance had created a buzz in the usually quiet neighborhood. People stood on their doorsteps trying to see what was going on. I quickly locked up the house, jumped in the car and headed for Century hospital. I could hear the faint sound of the ambulance sirens in the distance.
Chapter Eleven
Simon
The drive to the hospital wasn’t far.
Five minutes and twenty-three seconds. Em and I had timed it together one night just in case of an emergency. The only difference between now and then was then we were laughing and joking, but now Em was unconscious and I was a nervous wreck.
At least I’d told her I loved her. It wasn’t much of a consolidation, but it was something. I hated myself for thinking like that, but I couldn’t help it. I made it a habit to end every conversation with those three little words. I’d learned a long time ago how important last words were and it wasn’t a mistake I would ever make again. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if my last words to her had been anything but ‘I love you’.
I parked illegally in a no standing zone and raced inside the ER.
Honestly, I didn’t give a shit if they towed my car away as the only thing on my mind right now was getting to Em. Glancing around, I spotted the front reception and went to wait in line. I was behind a mother and her son as well as a couple with a baby. The mother was laughing and joking with the nurse behind the desk. Every laugh and giggle pushed my anger into a darker place.
This was bullshit. I pushed my way to the front of the line leaving a sea of angry people in my wake.
“My fiancé was just brought in via ambulance and I need to see her.” I demanded, flicking the hair out of my eyes as the nurse jumped, surprised by my behavior.
“Hey, wait in line dude!” the man with the young boy complained. I ignored him. I needed to see Em now and nothing was going to get in the way of that, especially not some asshole with an attitude or a nurse who just wanted to gossip.
