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He pulls away and kisses me, the softness of his lips against mine tender and sweet. Swallowing, I try again, but he cuts me off.
“Please, Lace, I can’t handle hearing you speak if it’s something I’m not ready to hear. Not today, so please, don’t say anything.”
He kisses me again, this time his mouth pressing against mine with urgency. He pulls away. I lift my hand up and touch my tingling lips, and watch as he walks over to the door. I want to tell him to stop, but I don’t. I can’t, and I’m not sure why. He closes the door quietly behind him, leaving me standing there alone in my living room. Why couldn’t I stop him? All I had to do was tell him I’m in love with him, and I couldn’t do it.
I can’t tell him how I feel until he knows the truth about Aaron, and it’s not my place to tell him.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Lucas
“Lucas?”
“Hey Dad,” I say. My calm voice is in complete contrast to the mixture of emotions pouring through me. As I stand at his front door, I look him in the eye, determined to make him see firsthand what he’s done to me. I’ve been waiting for this moment my whole life.
He hasn’t changed much at al
l in the last three years. A few more lines around the eyes, and his hair is a little thinner, but that’s it. I look a lot like him—so much so that I’m kind of surprised Lace didn’t pick up on the resemblance. Not that she’d have any reason to, but we have so many similarities it’s not hard to see where I get my features from. Anger surges through me at the thought of her with him.
How could he take advantage of her like that?
“Will you come in?” he asks. He steps back and I move past him.
I look around. The walls are bare and they lack personality. It’s like he just moved in here and hasn’t had a chance to unpack properly. What would I know? Maybe he has.
“It’s good to see you,” he finally says, breaking through the silence.
I suppress a laugh, finding it hard to believe that he actually means that. “You knew exactly where I was for years, Dad. You could’ve come and seen me anytime.”
He winces at my scathing tone, but doesn’t try to argue. Because he knows I’m right.
“Drink?” he asks. He walks over to a small bar set up in the far corner of the room.
I shake my head. I don’t trust myself sober, so I’m sure as hell not going to push my luck and drink.
“Suit yourself,” he mutters. He pours himself a glass of scotch and walks back over to me. “I owe you an explanation.”
I snort. “You think an explanation makes up for years of abandonment?” I shake my head. “You know, it isn’t even that, it’s the fact that you could’ve stopped it from happening. All you had to do was something—anything—and she’d still be here.”
His face softens, pain shining though his eyes. “Lucas, you think I don’t blame myself every day for what you and Laurie went through?”
“Then why didn’t you stop it?” I growl. I’m shaking with anger as I glare at him. “I don’t even care about the shit I had to go through to try and protect her. None of that matters. All I fucking care about is why you couldn’t get off your sorry arse and help us. You didn’t want us? Fine, put us in care, whatever, but just get us out of that environment. You knew what she was like and you knew he was worse.”
“And so did you,” Aaron says softly. “You knew what your mum was like. Believe it or not, I tried to get you out of there, but she had things on me, and she could make anyone believe she was a wonderful mother.”
“And what about after?” I ask, my voice colder than ice.
“After?” he repeats, the colour draining from his face.
“After she died. After she killed Laurie. Remember? I had nobody apart from a grandmother I barely knew. Your mother. What’s your excuse for then?”
“I don’t have one,” he admits. He sighs, falling against the seat behind him. “I couldn’t cope with the guilt. I wasn’t in any condition to care for you. You were better off with your grandmother. She was able to give you everything you needed—”
“What I needed was my father,” I cut in harshly. “A word you don’t understand the meaning of.” I’ve heard enough. Any chance of him having even close to a valid reason for deserting us has long gone. “What do you want from me? Surely you hiring Lacey wasn’t a coincidence?”
He hesitates before admitting, “No.”
I nod, a wave of validation rushing through me. At least I wasn’t paranoid, but I still have no idea why he’s here.
