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I followed him inside. The smell of rotting wood hit my senses. I looked up. The roof was caving in in places, and the remnants of last night's rain lay in puddles on the scuffed vinyl floor.
We walked down the hallway in complete silence, only the creaking of the floorboards below us making a sound.
“In here,” Mace said.
I stepped into the room, my breath catching in my throat. I’d watched those videos so many times, it felt like I'd been there before. I suppose in a sense I had.
The room was so sterile, so cold. Shivering, I rubbed my arms as I stared at the table in front of me, feeling sick. That was where it had happened. Right there was where Mace had betrayed me.
I swallowed a laugh. What kind of person was I that the first thing that had entered my mind was myself? Forget about all the pain and terror his sister, and probably countless other w
omen had gone through; this whole thing was all about me, and my stupid little problems.
“Are you okay?”
I glanced up at him as he squeezed my hand. No, I’m far from okay. But I had to push that aside. I had to work through it.
“I'm fine. I’m just a little . . .” My voice trailed off. I didn't even know how to finish that sentence.
“I'm right here. I promise I won't hurt you, Leet.” His voice broke as he leaned forward and kissed my forehead.
But you already have hurt me.
I slowly undressed while Mace was on the phone, giving last-minute instructions to Tim. I undid my shirt, one button at a time, as if my mind was trying to drag out the inevitable. I slipped the shirt over my shoulders and down my arms, letting it fall into a heap on the floor. I left my bra on. I didn't know how this worked, but judging by the videos there was some joy received from watching some clothing being removed.
Dipping my fingers into the waistband of my cargoes, I slipped them down over my hips, aware that Mace was now staring at me. I heard him breathe in sharply.
A flutter filled my stomach. I couldn't deny that I liked that he still found me attractive. I dropped the cargoes on the floor with my shirt, and stood there facing Mace, waiting for him to tell me what to do next.
“You’ve got goosebumps,” he whispered, walking over to me. He ran his hand down my arm, sending shivers racing down my spine.
“Yes, well, it is kind of cold in here,” I muttered, covering my chest with my arms.
“God, you're so beautiful,” he said, cupping my face with his hand.
I closed my eyes, my body weakening it at his touch. He swept a strand of hair away from my face as his eyes gazed deeply into my mine.
What was he thinking?
I couldn't tell. All I knew was no matter how much I wanted to push him away, my heart refused to. In spite of everything, I still loved him. I may not have forgiven him yet, but in that moment I knew I would.
I sat down on the chair as Mace fastened the ropes to my wrists.
“Let me know if it's too tight,” he said.
“Why so concerned?” I asked dryly. “It's not like you haven't tied me up before.”
He narrowed his eyes at me, shaking his head, the edges of his mouth twitching up.
Hey, look at that. I've managed a joke.
He stepped back and surveyed his work.
“Okay, I think we're ready. How you feeling?”
“How do you think I'm feeling?” Right away, I felt bad for snapping. I knew this was hard for him too. “I’ll be better once this is over with,” I said, my voice softer.
“I have to do this now,” he said apologetically.
