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“Really, Eli? You’re going to let this little feud between us ruin your career? Six months of full-time work, Eli. Then who knows where that will lead you? Surely you’re not stupid enough to let that slip through your fingers. How are those student loans going, anyway?” he asks, cocking his head.
I laugh. He knows damn well how much I’ve struggled with money for the last few years, because I refused to accept a cent from him. I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am today without the help of anyone but myself.
“Fine. I’ve told you before I don’t need your help,” I say, gritting my teeth. I grab my briefcase and stand up. “I’m late for an appointment. Please lock the door on your way out.”
“Aren’t you even going to ask me how I am?”
I stop in the doorway and turn around. “I haven’t bothered before. Why start now?”
***
I throw my things on the seat of my truck and slam my hands down on the wheel. I’m pissed, because he’s right: I do need this damn job. I’m drowning in debt. But teaching here for the rest of the year will mean the end of me and Jill. There’s no way I can accept the job and be with her.
I reach into my pocket and take out my phone. Bringing up her name, I type out a message.
Me: Sorry, I didn’t realize dad was around today. He doesn’t suspect anything.
She replies almost right away.
Jill: What are we doing, Eli?
My body tenses, because I have no fucking clue of what to say.
Me: I don’t know. All I know is I really like you
Jill: I really like you too. I miss you.
I press call. I need to hear her voice. I close my eyes and listen to the sound of the ringing, going over our last kiss in my head. Am I willing to risk everything for whatever this is?
“I miss you too,” I say when she answers. “Where are you?” I don’t care anymore. I need to see her. I need to feel her in my arms.
“Walking home. I wanted to clear my head,” she replies.
“Let me pick you up and we’ll go downtown and get a coffee,” I suggest.
“Sure,” she sighs. “Why not?”
I see her walking just out of the school grounds. I check my rearview mirror and see the street is deserted. It’s late enough that most of the staff and students have already left for the day, but I’m aware enough to know I still need to be on my guard.
I pull the truck to a stop next to her and open the door, watching her as she peels off her school blazer. She pulls a sweater over her head, easing her long, dark hair through. I watch as it cascades around her shoulders. Her green eyes catch mine and she smiles. Does she like me watching her?
The waitress at the coffee shop takes our orders as we sit side by side in a dark corner. We’re in a trendy lane in down town, so there is little chanc
e of us being spotted, but I’m still nervous. I don’t want to ruin this. She reaches across the table and takes my hand, entwining my fingers in hers. Even the slightest touch drives me insane.
“What do you want, Eli?” she asks.
She holds her breath as if she’s afraid of what my answer will be. My answer is simple: I know what I want, but I also know we don’t always get what we want. People—like my father—who go after what they want without considering how it will affect other people will inevitably wind up losing everything. I’ve seen that firsthand, and I don’t want to be that person.
“You,” I finally reply. Because it’s the truth. Whether I can have her or not, it’s her I want.
“Really? And tomorrow? Or next week? I need you to make up your mind and stick with it. This?” She throws up her hands and looks around. “It’s driving me crazy.”
I sigh. “Look, Jill. I’ve been thinking a lot about us. Not seeing you, not being able to hold you, I can’t handle it.” I pause and take a breath. “My position at school is only temporary.”
It’s true. Six months is still only temporary, and I haven’t even been offered the damn job yet.
“Dad’s already getting better, and as soon as he’s good, he will be back in the classroom to teach you.” I pause. “I like you. As in, I really like you. I want to see where this goes. Can you give me another chance?”
