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“You’re pretty amazing, you know that?”
Brooke held up a bottle of squirt mustard. “Because I make a mean sandwich?”
Gabe’s mouth quirked. “Well, there is that, but no. What you did for Macy.”
She was glad he was here, glad he’d taken the day off from his busy schedule to be here for Macy. For her, too. She needed him. His strong shoulder, his quiet confidence, his absolute faith were exactly what she needed today.
Telling Macy about Lucy, especially in front of Gabe, had not been easy. To her relief, there had been no censure in Gabe, only compassion and caring.
Emotionally drained, Brooke had stayed at the house while Gabe and Macy shopped for Darlene’s flowers. While they were gone she’d prayed, she’d looked at Lucy’s photos and she’d finally let go. Thank God she’d recognized the parallel between her own tenacious guilt and Macy’s. Setting Macy free had freed her, too.
Now the little girl and A.J. played in the backyard while Brooke and Gabe fixed sandwiches for a picnic after the hospital visit. Considering the stress of last night and this morning, they needed a diversion.
She slapped two pieces of bread together and slid the sandwich in a baggie. “You helped. I’m glad you were here.”
“Why didn’t I know about Lucy’s death?” he asked quietly.
“I thought I told you she died.”
“If you did, you left out the major details.” He put aside the pack of cheese and reached for the lettuce.
“Shame, guilt, grief. Those are hard to talk about.” She stuffed the finished sandwich into a picnic basket. “All these years I felt responsible, and then this morning I looked at Macy, saw myself and knew how wrong that was.” She tapped her chest and fought back tears. “For the first time since I was eight, I feel free.”
Gabe pushed away from the counter to kiss her forehead. “You helped her. She helped you. God sure knows how to work things out, doesn’t He?”
“When we let Him.”
“I figured out something this morning, too.” He looped an arm over her shoulder and let her lean.
She liked leaning into Gabe, relying on his strength. He was a man a woman could depend on. “What?”
“I thought you didn’t like kids, but you never said that. You said you weren’t good with them. Guess what? That’s a lie. You’re amazing.”
“I’ve been afraid. Afraid something else would happen. Afraid of the pain of loving and losing. Isn’t that stupid? To withdraw from a chance to love someone because of fear?”
Gabe was so quiet for a few seconds that Brooke could hear the soft thud of his heart and the hum of the refrigerator. Outside Macy said something and A.J. babbled in response.
“Gabe?”
“Thinking.”
“About?” She levered back a little to see his face.
“What you just said about fear holding us back from love.” He stroked a hand over her shoulder and down her arm. “I’ve never told you about A.J.’s mother.”
Other than the woman’s tragic death in a car accident, she knew nothing about Gabe’s wife. “I’ve wondered.”
Gabe stepped away, went to the patio doors, hands in his pockets, and gazed out at the playing children. He was so handsome, her heart raced from looking at him. This morning had been the strangest mix of joy and pain, but being with Gabe had made the pain easier to bear.
“My marriage isn’t a great topic for dinner conversation.” His shoulders rose and fell. “I fell in love with Tara when she was nineteen. I was twenty-six. She was flighty and bubbleheaded and charming as sin. She was also high maintenance and selfish, but I didn’t see those qualities until after we married. That’s when I realized she wanted a sugar daddy, a man to hand her credit cards and let her do whatever she wanted.” He huffed derisively. “Talk about emasculating.”
Brooke quietly pushed the sandwiches aside, wiped her hands and went to stand beside him. “I’m sorry. You’re better than that.”
“Guess not. Within a year I knew I’d made a mistake, but I don’t believe in divorce. I’d married her. She was my wife. I had to make the best of it.” He sighed deeply. “When she decided to have a baby, fool that I was, I thought a child would mature her and put our marriage back on track. When she got pregnant with A.J., I was the happiest man in Denver.”
