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She clutched her head in her hands and then fixed her bun of hair. She picked up her fork and took a bite and then a drink of water. I waited but she didn’t elaborate more like I expected.
“So what’s the problem? You don’t want to move in?” I pressed.
“No. I really don’t, but not because I don’t want to be with you.” This didn’t compute in my head. She told me she loved me. Granted she was high and promptly feel asleep, but I took those words to means something more.
“Then why?” I needed an answer.
“You met my parents. You know I have trouble making decisions about life in general and I need to figure out who I am as a person.”
“We can’t do that together?” Was I missing something?
She winced and got up from the table. “No. Maybe. I don’t know.” She leaned over the chair and hung her head before raising her eyes up to mine. “I need to be an independent person first and I need you to respect that.”
“But this situation here.” I waved my hand around the apartment. “Dinah. Ryder. Those two twin idiots.”
“I told you. Ryder broke it off with Dinah. He’s into some other girl who doesn’t go to classes here. He’s the least of my worries.”
“But he’s my worry and it’s my job to protect you.”
“No Whittaker. It’s your job to trust me. Trust that I’ll figure this out and trust that when the time is right we’ll move forward together.”
“So you’ll live here.” Incredulous. I never thought I’d be the one turning the tables.
She gave a half smile shrug explaining. “I do pay rent, or at least my parents do until I finish college.”
“It would save them money.” I argued.
“And my mother would want to cut off my favorite parts of you.”
I scoffed. Her mother was pretty terrifying. “That’s just barbaric. You love all of me.”
She didn’t disagree, but she didn’t move in either.
We were at an impasse.
27
Lia
I cleaned my camera lens adjusting the focus on a potted cactus that sat on the window sill facing the alley. It was a lonely green thing
in need of a companion. My violets dried up and I had to throw them out. Dinah was a jerk for not watering them when I was in Vegas. It was good thing I put my foot down on the cat because lord knew it would end up mine, unwanted, unfed, and sleeping in my bed the way that girl took care of anything living other than herself.
The good news was that Dinah would probably have to transfer at the end of this year leaving me with an empty apartment. I could either hunt for a suitable roommate or keep the space for a little extra each month.
The door opened and shut, my roommate dropped her bags on the floor. They spilled out dumping new clothes I didn’t know how she could afford. Groceries and body wash tumbled out in scents I hated because they didn’t smell like the outdoors, Thai food, and malty beer. Whit and I slowed things down and I hated it, but it was for the best. I had trouble concentrating with him all up in my space 24-7. We needed to get through this I had hope we’d be okay.
“Have you seen the sky?” Dinah peered out the window on the opposite side of the apartment.
“Hmm?” I focused on the lens and I wondered if it needed an adjustment by the guy from the old Kodak store on Main Street.
“The sky. Lia, there’s a fire on the mountain. Take a look.” She pointed between the cheap lace curtains.
My world propelled into slow motion and I stopped hearing anything else that came out of her mouth.
A fire on the mountain?
Impossible.
