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“Chase.” One word, that was all my mother needed to start this off as an inquisition and not a conversation.
My eyes rolled upward praying for guidance.
“Mother.”
“I’m having dinner at the house and I want to get to know this girl you’re seeing.”
I was going to stick Kristen inside the doggie crate for this.
“Are you now?”
“I am and I’m not asking.”
“Will Grammie be there?”
“Be a big boy, Chase. Let’s get to know her if you’re planning on making her a regular fixture.”
“You met her at Bridge with Nana Halle.”
“Chase.” My mother huffed in that I’m the one not making sense tone.
“It was the Fourth of July and for reference, why is it that Kristen can invite half the football team and only I get the interrogation?”
“Don’t slut shame you sister.”
I muttered, “Somebody should.”
Mom ignored my pointed insult. To be fair, I was pretty certain my sister hadn’t gotten with the football team because all the guys were my friends and I would have killed them, but that left the soccer team and the weirdoes from lacrosse. So really, it was a toss up.
“Anyway. We’re eating at six and I have a gorgeous prime rib from the co-op butcher in Ellensville.” My mouth watered thinking about the expensive cut of meat perfectly cooked, but it wasn’t worth the torture of my mother’s harassment.
“Chase, please.”
It wasn’t often my mother followed anything with a please or a thank you, and I found myself reluctantly giving in. If this became the shit show it was bound to be, I only had myself to blame. And my sister. She was always meddling.
“What time is dinner?” I didn’t want to come off as too interested in the main course when I planned on making Winnie my dessert.
“Six.”
“See you then.” Groaning, I hung up the phone wondering how I was going to present this mishegas to Winnie. She not only got hives at the mere mention of my mother since the Fourth, but family outings seemed to bring up stuff for her I wasn’t yet privy too.
Winnie was easier to convince than I thought. I stopped by her house and while she was engaged in looking up her potential fall course schedule, another hurdle I didn’t want to tackle right then, I kissed her head and told her we had plans for dinner. It was sneaky, but effective. I’d deal with the fallout later dragging her to my parents house, but for now I was riding the high that this was going to turn out well, or I’d die trying.
“So remind me again what we’re doing at your parent’s house?” Winnie had been distracted all day and I hadn’t thought to ask what was on her mind. I was being a shitty boyfriend preoccupied with my own musings and family drama, the first being that I didn’t want my mother scaring her off.
“Dinner. My mother is a bit of a celebrity around here being a judge for the county. She likes to hold dinners and summon us kids to attend.”
“Oh.” I glanced over to see Winnie’s brow furrow and I reached for her hand with mine while driving across town.
“My sister will be there too.” We shared that moment to glance over at each other and chuckle.
“Is she inviting her harem?” Winnie asked, her lips quirked upward.
“You know, I asked my mother that and she told me not to slut shame her. I’m glad someone else has finally noticed Kristen’s proclivities for drama.”
“Feel vindicated, do you?” Winnie’s mood seemed to dissipate as we discussed Kristen and her round table of failed knights. If this were medieval times I don’t think we could have paid the gypsies to take her off our hands.
“Honestly, I’ve only ever wanted Kristen to be happy, but she has this penchant for picking the completely worst of the worst. Except for the cop, but she keeps dumping him.” I could not for the life of me figure out why and my buddy Evan really needed to let Kristen go if he wanted any peace in his life.
