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The second time, our youngest was almost born inside the building’s elevator because the power went out in a freak accident when a transformer blew. I don’t really want to rehash how I should also be in charge of the city power company according to Casey, and how living in a penthouse is also my fault when your wife is in the midst of labor.

“Alright, you win this round, Mrs. Austin.” Wincing I press the frozen bag to my crotch and shiver with relief. This must be the kid’s food since the packaging has dancing carrot sticks on it looking happy which is unfair since my stick of business is anything but happy

. Coolness permeates my lounge pants and takes the fiery discomfort away for a moment.

“Of course I do, James, I’ve got your nut sack in my purse now.” She isn’t very remorseful but I forgive her easily. The things I would do for this woman I love so damn much. The vasectomy was worth the pain because I’m getting us a weekend babysitter to help Tabitha and then I’m totally banging my hot curvy wife in every room of this penthouse when it’s all over.

“How are my babies?” Just thinking about Casper and Jamie warms my heart and reaffirms my manhood. Nothing says bull like fathering a boy and then a girl on the first shot, though the last time I said that I ended up sleeping on the couch. Casey is a little sensitive about pushing out two kids from the same place after both being more than twelve hours of labor and nine pounds of baby a piece.

“The tiny terrors are sleeping and Charlie has taken up guard duty outside the nursery.” She smiles and I know she’s thinking about how the four and three year old will wake up from their nap, and run into the bedroom just to pounce on me.

Like I said, my wife is an evil woman.

I feel like whining just a little to milk this for all its worth. “Can we send them to their Godparents, yet?” Teasing her has got to be one of the best perks of married life.

“I don’t know if Eli is ready for that.” She laughs.

Poor Eli didn’t exactly volunteer to be named Godparent to Casper, but Casey was adamant and I think he was maybe a smidge afraid of my wife.

“Don’t you have shoes to buy or dinner to make me?”

“Humph… Maybe to beat you with, or poison you.” She’s joking, I know she is, well I think she is, but the glint in her eyes keeps me on my toes.

“Come here.” I motion her to come over and Casey brushes the hair back on my head and I pull her in for a hug.

“My poor big baby.” She coos sitting down close to me careful of my legs and the frozen carrots on my lap.

“That’s right and I’m going to milk this for all it’s worth.” My hands follow the curves of every indentation of her body and every flare that I adore.

“I love you.” I tell her drinking in her eyes.

“I love you more.” Of course she has to outdo me but I won’t allow it this time.

“Impossible.” Smirking she takes my face in her hands kissing my lips slowly letting me taste her.

I subtly remind her of the power I do still wield even if she has my balls in her purse now. “Do I need to broadcast my love for you, because I will?”

“James Austin, I don’t doubt that for one second.”

“Good because uh, you know…” I wiggle my eyebrows and she huffs rolling her eyes. Green Peace is practically on speed dial to accept my donations every time I call the station.

“Shut up and keep kissing me.”

“That, I can do,” and we kiss until our lips are raw and the screech of two little terrors reminds us we’re not alone.

THE END

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