AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Jude, you scare the shit out of me.”
“How could I possibly scare you of all people?” She squeezed the muscles in my arms playfully and I knew I had to tell her.
“Because I’m the one who set the explosion at the school, you need to be wary. I’m not a good man. I should have checked that building a hundred times instead of ten. You weren’t supposed to be there. No one was.” I laid my head against her and let the tears I felt go. Her hand cupped my cheek brushing them over with her fingertips.
“I forgave you a long time ago. I think I’ve always kind of known it was you that day. Nothing else made sense.”
“I can’t forgive myself.”
“You can hold onto that guilt like a sinking anchor because nothing I say will make you forgive yourself, but I’m freely offering you my body, my trust, and my surrender.”
“You have no idea what that means and because I know better than you that there is no turning back once I’ve been there. What you’re offering is a gift and I’ll be certain you don’t forget its parting.”
“Flowery words coming from a man who never had a conscious before.”
“Because that’s the power you have over me forever and always.”
“And to think Ella could have satisfied the ache you created within me.”
“We both know that was your way of punishing me and in the end I had to save you anyway.”
“No need to be so smug about it.”
“Just stating a fact sweetheart.”
“Ella was a distraction and a poor choice.”
“I know.”
“So…do you forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive. I’ve handled things poorly and created a mess with Sorenson among other things to clean up.” I embraced her and rested my head between her breasts. We’ve got a learning curve ahead of us. She was blind, but she saw through my bullshit and owned my soul.
Fifteen
JUDE
Breaths mingled in the solitude of the night. Ours was a companionable silence after three years of learning each other’s nuances. I’d come to a decision that I wanted this man more than my next breath of air and I wasn’t going to wait for him to initiate a move. I could end up waiting three more years because of his guilty conscious. Guilt had been absolved and I waited long enough.
Tentatively I reached for Lorand, guiding him to the back of the house, where he followed me to my bedroom.
“Jude?”
“Shhh.” Turning toward him, I put my hand up to his lips to silence any protest he might have and let my lips follow. His lips were soft for a man and I had to reach up to let my hands move over his shaved scalp. It felt soft and baby fine with small hairs grazing under my fingernails.
I felt his body through his clothes and let my touch lead me. Lorand is big, muscular and warm. Heat comes through his clothing like a radiator. My hands travel further down to his hips drawing him closer to me. His waist nips in and I imagine leanness to his body despite his size.
My hands feel around to the front of his pants. He’s wearing a belt and I tug on it unlooping it from the slim buckle. His hands find mine and when I think he might stop me he takes the belt from me and removes it himself. Pulling it through the fabric it snaps like the electric attraction between us. I know he can see me in the dark so I shake my head no and hear him chuckle. I push his hands away and get back to the task. I undo the hook and zipper of his pants opening them over his hips. A grunt followed by a shallow thrust in my direction is the only acknowledgement I’m given.
I feel around his body letting tactile sensations paint me a picture rubbing my greedy body against his heat. Turnabout is fair play in my mind so when he lifted up my sundress over my head I don’t protest as it thumps to the floor in a heap of finely spun Texas cotton. I want him as limp and boneless as my discarded dress on the floor.
His hands reach for me, but I push back. “Jude?” I want him completely at my mercy and tick my head no.
I lean up on my tip toes and let my lips graze his lower jaw. “Mine.” It’s whispered against his cheek and I lower myself to my knees in front of him. My hands follow trailing down until I feel the belt loops of his pants in the front. I tug them none to gently and his hips follow a shimmy letting me pull them down.
I breathe in the scent that is Lorand.
Male.
