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Bobbi dropped Nadia’s arm like it was made of hot coals. She looked like she’d seen a ghost.
Nadia blinked. “Bobbi?” she asked, concerned. “What is it?”
“Your…” she started.
“My what?” Nadia asked, confused.
Bobbi stared hard, her eyes searching Nadia’s. Like she was looking for something. She shook her head. “Nothing,” she said, but she sounded unsure. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Just…think about what I said, okay?”
With that, Bobbi turned and headed for the back of the lab—for Tai. Nadia could hear them whispering. Now there was an unexpected pair.
I guess suspicion of new friends can really bring old friends together, thought Nadia. She knew it wasn’t entirely logical, but she felt left out. Excluded. Hurt. Alone.
Nadia entered her room and shut the door behind her. “You understand what I’m trying to do—right, VERA?” Nadia slumped into her chair.
“I do,” VERA agreed, her hologram powering up. “Shall we get to work?”
Nadia smiled. Finally, someone who would back her up. “Yeah. Let’s get to work.”
“It certainly all sounds very exciting,” said Dr. Sinclair. “You seem very energized.”
Nadia’s enthusiastic smile dimmed slightly in wattage. She tried not to overthink in their sessions. Not everything Dr. Sinclair said held some deeper meaning. Nadia had just finished telling her about all of the big changes in her life, lately—VERA, Like Minds, and most importantly, Maria’s journal. And Dr. Sinclair seemed genuinely happy for her! Which wasn’t surprising. Dr. Sinclair was, after all, extremely cool. Nadia knew that, in her spare time, Dr. Sinclair was big into powerlifting. Her thighs could kill a man. Nadia liked that.
But Nadia also knew that Dr. Sinclair was always on the watch for signs of unhealthy habits or bipolar episodes. Which, obviously, was part of her job, and a good thing. And that word Dr. Sinclair had used—“energized”—could mean that she was concerned about Nadia’s energy right now in general, in case they pointed to risky behaviors.
“I am energized,” Nadia agreed, “but I think it’s an okay energized. A healthy energized. You know?”
Dr. Sinclair nodded. “You’re sleeping well?”
“Seven hours a night and mostly on-schedule,” Nadia said proudly. “I even got myself back on track after visiting the Crystal Lab. VERA helped with that, actually.”
“That’s good! That’s big.” Dr. Sinclair made a note on her ever-present notepad. “I’m so happy to hear that. You’ve been following our conversation very well today, too, which is a good sign. What do the G.I.R.L.s think about all this?”
Nadia hesitated. “I haven’t seen them all lately, but Taina…” Nadia shrugged. “Taina is worried. But I know it’s coming from a place of…” She paused for a second, trying to find the right words.
Dr. Sinclair waited patiently.
“Of love,” Nadia finally landed on, “and concern. I don’t think it’s because she’s angry with me personally, or anything.”
“Good.” Dr. Sinclair made another note. Nadia knew that was one of her methods of reality testing—if Nadia had said that she felt like Taina was upset because she hated her and therefore the whole world hated her, for example, Nadia might have been catastrophizing or detaching from reality a little bit. That wasn’t the case today.
“All right.” Dr. Sinclair put down her pen and looked Nadia in the eye. “I know high activity levels aren’t uncommon for you, but I do want to make sure you’re practicing coping methods in case you start to feel like you’re going too far down that path.” She put her legal pad down next to her and sat up nice and straight. “What’s your favorite breathing exercise we’ve done? Three-part? Four-seven-eight?”
Nadia mimicked Dr. Sinclair’s posture while thinking through her question. Both the practices her therapist had mentioned were helpful in different ways. Nadia liked four-seven-eight best when she felt like she was having a panic attack or spiraling hard; you breathed in for a count of four, held it for a count of seven, and exhaled for eight. It slowed her heart rate right down—she’d even used it a few times when she felt nervous before a big fight as the Wasp. But it didn’t feel right in this moment.
“Let’s do three-part breath,” said Nadia. Dr. Sinclair led her through the steps, even though she already knew them; it
was nice to just have someone else there to talk her through it, kind of comforting in a way. Nadia closed her eyes, breathing into her belly, inflating her tummy like a balloon; then into her midchest, feeling her ribcage expand; then into her upper chest, lifting her clavicles. When she exhaled, she reversed it, the air leaving first her chest, then her ribs, then her belly.
NADIA’S NEAT SCIENCE FACTS!!!
Breathing exercises and meditations aren’t just placebos for a panicky brain. Breath control has a direct affect on the autonomic and central nervous systems and your psychological status. Slowed breathing increases heart rate variability (the variation in the time between heartbeats) and respiratory sinus arrythmia (when the time between heartbeats slows down on your exhale and speeds up on your inhale), both of which are signs of a healthy and de-stressed human. In EEGs, we see that slow breathing increases the brain’s alpha power (when you just finished a project and you’re taking a nice, relaxing stroll through Central Park? Your brain is in an alpha state). fMRIs even show slow breathing increases function in the cortical and subcortical regions of the brain. Essentially, when you slow your breathing, you’re telling your body that you’re not in fight-or-flight mode, but rather in rest-and-digest mode. “Chill out,” you say. “Things are, in fact, chill.”
Regulating your breathing is a core part of many eastern religions and medicines, including yoga, where it’s called “pranayama” (which can translate to “the control of breath”). Yogis know that pranayama and three-part breathing (or, in Sanskrit, Dirgha Pranayama) physically lowers your heart rate, relaxes your muscles, and helps you digest. Psychologically, it causes you to feel more comforted, pleasant, and alert, and can help eliminate feelings of anxiety, depression, and confusion. So sit down and chill out for five minutes, please!! It’s important. Also, for the record, I am terrible at yoga.
Nadia opened her eyes. “Good. I’m going to get this in every day. I promise.”
Dr. Sinclair picked up her notepad again. Couldn’t go too long without it. “I know you will.”
