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“And that’s my decision to make, too. I don’t need you coming in and taking over.”
“Taking over?” He looked stunned, as though someone had told him pigs could fly. “What are you talking about?”
He was kidding, right? They were arguing about his influencing a banker on her behalf and he was asking her to explain herself?
Then again, maybe he didn’t understand. Taking over was so ingrained in men like him, they didn’t know how not to be in control.
Louisa shook her head. When she’d found out about that damn staff meeting, she should have realized then, but she’d let him sweep her concerns away. Same as she did whenever she talked about going back to the palazzo. He need only touch her and poof! Her arguments disappeared.
Because nothing felt as safe and perfect as being in his arms.
“All I wanted was to help,” Nico continued. “I thought it would make you happy.”
“Well, it didn’t,” she said, sitting down. Kind of ironic they would be arguing about this in the same spot where they’d kissed a few days earlier. The harvest festival had been one of the most magical days of her life.
How much of those memories were real? “What else have you influenced without my knowing?” she asked. “Oh my God, the baptism. Did you ask your sister to make me Rosabella’s godmother?”
“No. Of course not. No one tells Marianna what to do. You know that.”
“Maybe. I don’t know what to believe anymore.” Other than knowing she’d created some of the problem herself, that is. Leaning on Nico came too easily. His strength made her feel too safe. What was it she’d said the day of the festival? You’d rescue me. From the moment the news about Luscious Louisa broke, she’d come to rely on him to catch her when she fell.
“I’ll tell you what you can believe,” Nico said. He was kneeling in front of her, holding her hands, his eyes imploring her to let him catch her one more time. “You can believe that I would never try to hurt you. I love you.”
“I know.” If only he realized, his saying he loved her only made things worse.
Suddenly, she understood why she’d been so frightened when he’d said those words earlier. Deep inside she knew that if she accepted his love, then she would have to acknowledge the feelings in her own heart. Nico was already her greatest weakness. Once she admitted her feelings, she’d lose what little power she had left. Before she knew it, she would be swallowed alive again. “I promised myself that would never happen again.”
“What would never happen again?” he asked.
She hadn’t realized she’d spoken aloud. Since she had, however, she might as well see her thoughts through. “I swore I would never let anyone control my life again,” she told him.
“Control? What the...?” Nico sat back on his heels. “I’m not trying to control you.”
“Maybe not on purpose,” she replied. No, definitely not on purpose. “You just can’t help yourself.”
Same way she wouldn’t be able to help herself from letting him.
“Goodbye, Nico.” She pulled her hands free. “I’ll pick up my things later on.”
“I’m not Steven.”
She was ten feet away when he spoke. The comment was soft, barely loud enough for her to hear. Turning, she saw Nico on his feet, hands balled into fists by his side. “I’m not Steven,” he repeated, this time a little louder.
“I never said you were.”
“Then stop running from me like I am!”
Didn’t he get it? She wasn’t running from just him. She was running from herself, too.
CHAPTER TWELVE
NICO STARED AT the vine-covered wall. Once upon a time, climbing to the other side meant escaping the turmoil that engulfed his house and finding tranquility. Too bad that wasn’t possible anymore. Only thing crossing the wall would do today was make the pain in his chest more acute. Either because he didn’t see Louisa or because he did, and she pushed him away again.
He was still trying to comprehend what had happened the other night. One moment he was declaring his love, the next... How had everything gone so horribly wrong?
“Signor?”
He forgot that Mario was waiting for an answer. They were scheduled to harvest the fields at the palazzo today. The final field of the season, Nico always saved it for last because the grapes took the longest to ripen. Mario wanted to know if he planned to check on the workers’ progress. Thus the quandary over crossing the wall.
“You go ahead,” he decided. “You can supervise on your own.”
The young man straightened. “If you think so.”
