AllFreeNovel
Share Us
No... It can’t be.
Ronan.
“... You... You’re alive,” I sputter out, without thinking.
His towering figure looms over me, blocking out most of the light from the hallway. A tight, black t-shirt hugs his chiseled body, revealing tensed muscles and a heaving chest. It looks like he just ran up a flight of stairs to see me. Sweat glistens ever so slightly from his forehead, just below his wavy auburn hair, and just above his steely blue eyes. Those big, luscious lips of his are half-open. His short beard’s been replaced by even shorter stubble. He must have shaved for me.
“Nia...” he whispers, deep and low, taking a step inside. I swear I can feel the earth shake—or is that just my heart?
I take a step back. Utterly in shock. What the hell is he doing here? Where the fuck has he been!?
I can feel my eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets. I’d honestly expected Ronan to be dead. The connection we shared that night seemed too special to just abandoned, even for a dark and mysterious stranger like him.
So, if he wasn’t dead, what’s his excuse...?
An uncontrollable anger starts to boil up inside my belly. Ronan takes another step forward and his bulging biceps flex as he reaches towards me. I can see a desperate longing twinkle in his eyes, but I’m suddenly furious.
I swat away his touch. “You have some nerve...” I hiss. The life in my belly suddenly becomes all too real. This is the man who put it there. This is the man who left us both.
I start to shake with fire. “How do you goons keep finding me!?” I shout, clawing at the air between us. I don’t know what’s coming over me, but it’s overwhelming, even more so than what I felt after Semyon’s visit.
Right now, I’m being filled with so many different and intense emotions. Hate, fear, relief... lust... and another L word I don’t even dare think. How could I? I barely even know this guy, right?
“I’m not here to hurt you, Nia. I’m here to protect you.” Ronan’s low rumble threatens to put me at ease, but when he reaches for me again, I flinch away.
“Protect me from what!?” I shout, barely even choosing my words. Sentences are flowing out of me like tears and smoke. “I’ve never needed protection until I met you. Where were you when those Russian assholes came to my apartment? You show up now!? When things are finally peaceful, and say you want to protect me!? I say go fuck yourself!”
I turn my back to Ronan, but there’s nowhere to run. I can hardly process what’s happening. My immediate instinct to this man’s presence is a complete internal implosion. He has no idea what he’s put me through. I feel like a fool for getting so emotional over the return of a practical stranger, but the truth is, it feels kind of good to tell him off. I need to feel in control, even if only for a moment, even if I’m not really.
Ronan doesn’t seem flustered. I’m almost sure he was expecting this. The first time he ever touched me, after all, was to keep me from stabbing him with a kitchen knife. I feel him step forward again. I don’t turn around, but part of me desperately wants him to wrap me in his arms and force me to accept his return. I’m feeling too wild for my own good right now, no matter how justified my reaction might be.
“Nia, I can explain everything. I didn’t have a choice,” Ronan’s voice is steady, but I swear I can hear his tone shivering ever so slightly. If he was expecting my harsh reaction, he might not have been expecting to be so affected by it.
I want to turn around and look at him again, but I don’t want to give in. The glass window to Carlos’s porch is the closest I’ll come to putting my eyes back on the man who left me so easily. His reflection is massive. The lighting of the room covers his face, but the look of his body is enough to make my knees buckle.
Why do I have to be so attracted to someone so dangerous?
“...I’m waiting,” I mumble, given him an actual chance to explain everything. I have a feeling he won’t.
>
Sure enough.
“I don’t have time right now,” Ronan sighs. His voice sounds so heavy, like the weight of the world rests on his every word. I’d almost feel bad for him, if I wasn’t busy feeling so sorry for myself. What’s he been through over the past three months to keep him away from me? I don’t hear a pimp’s lilt in his tone. He seems to be speaking in earnest. I want to believe he’s sincere, but how can I?
I turn around and finally face my invader again. He’s gorgeous. Ruggedly handsome and as sharp as the arrow he shot through my heart.
“I just want to say...” he trails off like he’s not quite strong enough to do anything but bash people’s heads in.
I cross my arms—though, my raging fire is slowly turning into one of sympathy... and desire. “Say it...” I beg of him.
Ronan takes a deep breath. His bright eyes are trained on the floor and his arms are limp at his side. The big lug is thinking. Good. Now’s not the time for excitement, now’s the time for precision and truth.
I let him settle on his words.
Finally, those raging blue eyes of his fall on me again. I quiver under his intense gaze. If I was a weaker woman, I might have already fallen to the floor and begged to have him crawl on top of me, but I’ve been through too much to give in now. He’s going to have to convince me to let him anywhere near me again.
“I made no secret about who I was,” he starts. His voice is calm and steady, but even heavier now than ever before. “How could I? We met in a firefight; it wasn’t exactly subtle. Still, the heat from my bullet wound couldn’t match the warmth of your hand on my shoulder. You branded me like cattle; you healed me from something much more than a physical wound. I’ve been caught in my dark lifestyle for nearly as long as I can remember. I have power and influence. I’m respected and feared... but I’ve never been loved. Once, I thought I might have been, but it turned out that I was being used. It made me swear off all forms of intimacy—or, at least, all the forms you can’t buy. But when I saw you that night, everything went out of the window... and then I came flying in through it, and you didn’t run away. Instead, you ran towards me. You touched me, and in more ways than one. I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind since that first night. Everything I’ve done since then has been to get back to you. But, in my world, you aren’t ever given a straight, easy path. I’ve had to fight for my life just to get here now. It’s been a long and painful journey, but I knew that it’d be worth it if I could just see you again. I’m sorry for not saying goodbye before, I’m sorry for not telling you why, but it was all so that we could get here. Sure, I could be using these precious seconds we have right now to tell you the cold, hard details of what’s happened over the past three months, but they don’t matter now. All that matters is one truth: I want you, Nia. I... I love you.”
