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But for the first time, he said something honest. “Because I thought I might adapt to this horrible environment just as the others adapted to Earth. As years went by, I was afraid I might forget where we came from. I’m afraid I may have begun to lose the memories of the mountains and the woods, the things that once made sense to me. Nature. Wild nature. That’s where I come from, and that’s who I am.”
“Life is here, and it belongs everywhere,” I said, even as my own child was tearing through me.
“Your focus is on science. You are confident you can destroy nature. You can’t. Your work has only fucked us, and now I’ll never see home again.”
“You would have been killed, either way,” I growled. “Don’t act like a saint.”
“Shut your mouth.” His screams circled in my ear, but I couldn’t focus. “You... know... nothing... I am the closest you will ever come to meeting a saint.”
I grabbed onto the legs of the control desk, choking down every drop of pain. I pulled myself away from him, tears falling from my eyes. “My... baby... is… going… to… LIVE!”
Out of all the fertility experiments, mine was the one bad enough to kill me. I needed to get off of this ship, but I felt his hand grab my hair. I felt the weight of metal against my temple. “Goodbye, sugar—”
Click. Pause. Bang.
Does one react before they die?
I slumped to the floor. Shocked, I trembled and only opened my eyes when I heard Talis’ strong and protecting voice say, “We come in peace, bitch.”
“Juliana! Talis!” I was so excited that I tried to stand, but I instantly fell to the floor.
Talis checked Cade’s wounds. He wasn’t dead, but blood was dripping from his mouth. A crooked smile formed. He whispered, “Why can’t you face the facts? Life has no meaning. It is a mesh of experiences. Your precious love is but one of a multitude of events that happened, but how much violence can a simple act of goodness bring? To give up, to stay alive. It’s all the same. Unintended consequences.”
“So what?” I managed to ask. “Nothing is planned, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t feel.”
Nihilism. The last philosophy a man could get to before completing his breakdown. It was the only fallback and justification for his failures, but time would not reward it.
/> Space wasn’t just impenetrable darkness. It was made up of bits of light and color, of moving energy that created vast designs around the cosmos. What did it all mean? We may never know, but it sure as hell needed to be respected.
Cade closed his eyes. His gut was a growing mess of raspberry soak. Talis set Cade’s body against the wall and sighed. “Well, it’s been real fun. I wish you an easy journey on the other side.”
After, he pointed to the ladder headed down toward the cargo hold. “Juliana, go downstairs. Get those fuel cells ready, and make sure my ship is safe.”
“Like hell,” she said. “I ain’t going anywhere.”
Talis unbuttoned my jeans to check on me and shot her a furious glance. ”Now!”
I looked down at my belly and nearly passed out. I knew that it had grown in size. I had felt it happening, but I didn’t want to look down. Now that I had, I couldn’t believe it. “Get it out of me,” I cried and watched as what looked like a tail ran against the inside of my stomach. “Oh, God. Don’t look at me. I’m a monster.”
Every movement, every angry hit and curious touch could be seen. It looked and felt so...inhuman.
Talis’ eyes glowed, hungrily. “You are the finest omega in the universe.”
“Woman.” I contorted in agony, rolling onto my side for comfort. “An omega—is that what you want me to be?”
“No,” he muttered. “You’re something else. You’re a miracle.”
“Fuck your miracle. Your child is killing me,” I said.
“Permanent Black has been initiated. T-Minus one minute until detonation... Sixty, fifty-nine, fifty-eight...”
“I’m taking you with me, dammit!” he screamed and lifted my body.
“Fifty-seven, fifty-six...”
The pain was spreading and taking over, paralyzing my fingers and toes. My body was trembling unnaturally. I placed my arms around him and let him do as he promised he would. He tried to save my life.
It was a miracle we met. He was misunderstood. He was trouble. An alien insurgent, thief, and my mate. Maybe it didn’t make sense to anybody else, but I was able to experience passion again. He gave me that. And, as we hid and tried to make sense of our future, I fell in love with him.
