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“How?”
“She’s smart and interesting. She has depth. Plus she’s classy and beautiful and isn’t after my money.”
“So wait.” Sandra pretended confusion. “You don’t want a woman with enough brains to value money?”
He guffawed at that, bringing to his face a boyish energy that was really appealing. She was developing a serious tipsy crush. “I like you, Sandra. You’re smart. And practical.”
“Ooh.” She feigned dismay to hide her pleasure. “I’ve been called many things, but smart and practical? Not so much.”
“You’re sexy, too. I am insanely hot for you.”
“And Allie?” Sandra pinned him with her best schoolteacher look. “Are you insanely hot for her?”
He glanced down at his glass. “She’s a beautiful woman. I definitely want her.”
“That’s not what I asked, Erik.”
“Okay.” He met her eyes defiantly. “Yes, I am hot for her.”
“Uh-huh.”
He leaned forward until their faces were about six inches apart. His eyes were a really intense blue with long dark lashes, longer than his brother’s. “Crazy hot for her.”
“You know what’s happening out there right now, with her and Jonas?”
Erik’s face twisted. He drew back. “Yeah.”
Sandra jabbed at him triumphantly with her index finger. “That’s the only reason you think you’re crazy hot for her right now.”
“Not true.”
She let that slide. They both knew it was. “Before this, have you ever wanted a woman who didn’t want you?”
“No.”
“But you wanted to marry this one.” She paused to let him mull that over. “Did it ever occur to you that going after a woman who constantly rejects you keeps you safe from having to commit to this life you say you want?”
His eyes narrowed. He poured himself more tequila and topped off her glass. “Anyone ever tell you you’re a major pain in the ass?”
“Only when I’m right.”
“What about you? Still no tears over Jonas going at it with Allie?”
He was on the offensive now. Good to see. She’d get bored of a weak man. “None.”
“Yeah? You weren’t in love with him?”
“Nope.” She took a bigger swallow than she needed. “Like him a lot, though.”
“How about the men before him? Ever been in love?”
She narrowed her eyes. “What are you getting at?”
“Why aren’t you married?”
“Don’t want to be.”
“How do you know you’re not scared of it? Going after shallow relationships to keep from really falling?”
Sick anger burned through her, anger she was old enough to recognize as coming from his having hit a nerve dead-on. Little shit. He’d pay for that. She drained her tequila, got up, went around the counter to the sink, filled the glass with water and drank it empty, taking her time until she was calm again. “Let go of Allie, Erik. Your brother has her.”
“It’s preordained. Jonas gets everything. He always has.”
His bitterness shocked her. She sat back down on the stool next to his. “What’s that about?”
“Look at him.” He flung an arm in the general direction of the cottage. “He’s better-looking—”
“Debatable.”
“More athletic.”
“Possibly.”
“Smarter.”
“Could be.”
“More successful.”
“Definitely.”
Erik scowled. “Feel free to disagree vehemently.”
“Nuh-uh.” Sandra waggled her finger at him. “That’s not what you need from me.”
He gave her a slow once-over that should have offended her, but didn’t. “How do you know what I need from you, Sandra?”
“You’d be surprised.” She started counting on her fingers, trying to forestall a blush. “According to you, your brother is better-looking, more of a jock, smarter and has a better job. Anything else?”
“Better relationships.”
“Hmmm... What’s next? No, wait, let me guess...he’s your mom and dad’s favorite.”
Erik’s eyes turned hurt. “How did you know that?”
“I didn’t.” She spoke gently, not wanting to make fun of him now. That pain she understood. “But it seemed a logical next on the list of grievances.”
“You have any siblings?” He clutched his glass in both hands on the counter, his body close to her.
“Nope.” She put a hand on his shoulder, surprised at the hard muscle underneath her fingers. “Honey, your list is not based on fact. It’s all in your head. I wrote the book on crappy self-esteem. Took me a long time to get past it, and I still struggle. But it’s worth doing. You have to love yourself in a healthy way before you can expect other people to.”
