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He might surprise you.
Why did those words keep circling my mind?
It felt wrong to keep this from him. Like I held the key to his future in the palm of my hand, altering its course without his consent. It felt so very wrong. My eyes narrowed, heart stuttering.
“Ren,” I began, but the words lodged in my throat.
He dipped, his head lowering until it was level with mine. “What’s going on, Ri? This isn’t working for you? That why you’re avoiding me?”
I noted the tick in his jaw and the alarm in his eyes. This was more than sex. I could goddamn see it. Bolstered by the realization, I made a grave mistake. I allowed hope to bloom, to dictate my choices and choose my words.
“I’ve been thinking,” I started, suddenly buoyant and entertaining the possibility that we might get through this one last stumbling block. But I thought it would be best to ease him in, start small, and gauge his reaction. “I might stick around here instead of going away to school in the fall. If I got in now, I should be able to do two years here, then transfer junior year. Then we could...” My words trailed off at the look on his face. The shift in him was instant. It felt like the air around us dropped fifty degrees.
Reno’s eyes narrowed, leaving nothing but black. His hands released me, and he took a deliberate step back, creating a void a mile wide between us.
Hard eyes met mine, his face wiped bare of emotion. “You got in?”
Head pressed back into the wall, I nodded mutely.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I’ve been… thinking it over,” I said, stumbling over the words.
His thumbs met his hips and his head angled away from me as he stared out over the pool. The usual noises rang out—splashing, screaming, laughing. They faded to background noise, nothing but a backdrop to the rush of blood ringing in my ears. When he came back to me, it was like invasion of the body snatchers. He was a completely different person.
“Go to college,” he said, emotionless.
“Why?” I demanded, suddenly feeling the force of a week’s worth of repressed feelings working their way up my body, looking for an outlet.
“You know why,” he said, his voice firm.
My head swayed side to side. “For argument's sake, let’s say I don’t. Enlighten me.” I could feel my fists clench, every suppressed emotion pushing and shoving, like an angry mob. I needed him now. I needed him not to freak out, because I was about to fall apart.
Sharp eyes cut to mine. “Don’t change plans for me, Riley. We never banked on this being anything more than it is.”
My hands landed on my hips, trembling with emotion. “And what is it? Fucking?” I spat the word. Threw it at him. “You still trying to pass this off as just sex?” I lifted my hands, bending the tips of my fingers to mimic inverted commas.
My building ire only seemed to incite his. Looming over me, he raised his own voice. “You can’t stay here for this.”
Fighting the urge to shrink, I pulled up to my full height and locked him in my hard stare. “I never said it was about you,” I said, and rejoiced at the shock that registered in his eyes. “But ask yourself if you want me to go... really ask yourself.”
His shoulders pulled back, the tendons in his neck straining. He didn’t like his answer. “This wasn’t a long-term thing, Ri, I told you that. Did I not fucking say that? I thought you understood.”
I snorted a breath, shaking my head in disbelief. “Oh, I did. I understood that you were too afraid to put labels on us. That you didn't want to admit that this was anything more than sex because you're scared of getting hurt—”
“I’m not fucking scared!” he bellowed. “Dammit, Riley. We're friends who fuck, nothing more, nothing less. Don't blame me if you've read too much into it. I never fucking misled you. Never made you any promises.”
Pain radiated through my chest. “This is more than sex, and you know it.”
“It's not.”
My heart was breaking, I could feel it. The anger gave way to agony, and it burned a path down my throat.
“Well, it feels like it.”
His head tilted, gaze cool. “How would you know any different?”
My breaths faltered. My head shook. “Don't do that, Ren. Don’t be cruel.”
