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“Riley,” she called, voice soft, “you okay?”
I was so taken aback by the quiet concern that my feet staggered to a stop and my body whirled to face the person who’d been my nemesis for as long as my memory spanned back.
Dressed in similar jean shorts to mine, a nondescript tank that covered most of her generous cleavage and her long, dark hair pulled into a low pony that hung down her back, I tracked her movements as she advanced toward me. Too stunned to react, I stayed mute.
Her head dipped when she came to a stop, her dark brown gaze flickering over my face in something like understanding. Breathing out slowly, she brought her hands together in front of her body and interlaced her fingers.
“I owe you an apology,” she said, and I almost hit the deck. My mouth definitely did.
“What?” I sputtered.
She snorted a little laugh through her nose, but eyes awash with regret met mine. “I’ve been in love with him since I was seven years old, did you know that?” My breath caught painfully. She looked away. “I had him fixed firmly in my sights ever since, and I’m pretty determined.” One side of her lips ticked up in a smirk, but there was no humor in it. “For a while, I thought he and I were on the same page, and then you happened.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but quickly realized I had absolutely nothing to say. Nothing. I was completely dumbfounded.
“And ever since then, he looked right through me. I put myself in his path, did anything I could just to get his attention, to keep him close to me, all the while knowing how he really felt. Knowing he didn’t love me. I thought I could change his mind, but I never stood a chance. Guess you think I’m an idiot, right?” Her voice trembled, and I felt something for this girl that I never dreamed I would: sympathy.
I shook my head, hand still hovering over my mouth, knuckles grazing my lips. I cleared my throat. “No.”
A sad smile tugged her lips down somehow. It was a strange look that crossed her face, like self-reflection and self-acceptance all rolled into one. She lifted a shoulder. “And that’s why I hated you, Riley. You stopped him from seeing me. It took a long time for me to realize that wasn’t your fault. Last year when he kissed me? The one and only time he kissed me... and all he was thinking about was you. I got it then, but it still took me a while to accept. So, I’m sorry. I treated you unfairly from the start.”
I blinked slowly, my hand dropping from my face and my eyes scrutinizing the girl in front of me for some sign of dis-ingenuity, some evidence that this was all an elaborate prank and she’d revert to her evil ways any second. There was none.
She barked a quick laugh, a different smile twisting her lips, like she knew exactly what I was thinking. Her brows kicked up. “I deserve that. But I've done some growing up this past year, Riley. Enough to recognize that it isn't possible to force someone to feel a certain way, no matter how much you want them to.” Her gaze diverted to the direction I'd come from. She knew he was there. “He's been miserable. Borderline depressed. I still care about him, enough that I want to see him happy, even if it’s not with me. I tried,” she said, drawing the word out on a sigh. “I did try. It isn’t me who can help him.” She tipped her forehead toward me, hitting me with a pointed stare. “It's you. It always was.”
I inhaled sharply, her words sinking into me like the air that flowed into my lungs.
There were a magnitude of risks and reasons, so much potential for everything to go wrong. God so much already had. Yet, I still loved him, and you couldn’t love someone halfway. There was no magic switch when things got tough; love didn’t turn off and on with the press of a button.
It didn’t keep track of the mistakes, the wrong turns, or the bad decisions. Love didn’t care that it left us wide open, sitting ducks looking down the barrel of the farmer’s gun. There were no guarantees, no reassurances. You jumped in with both feet and hoped like hell you could keep your head above water.
Love came with highs and lows. It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t predictable. It wasn’t even understandable. It just was.
It just fucking was.
And it meant everything. It consumed you whether you wanted it to or not. Denying it wouldn’t change that. Love could break you down to little pieces, but sometimes, it was the only thing that could put you back together again. And my missing pieces... they were back there, with Reno.
I could keep walking, leave Reno and all the pieces of me that belonged to him right here, and never look back. This past year had proved I could go on, I could exist. But I wouldn’t be happy, I wouldn’t feel whole. I’d put time and distance between us. It had changed nothing. I loved him. My heart belonged to him. It always had.
I didn’t want to leave it behind again.
I didn’t want to leave him behind.
My head flew up. “I’m sorry, Raya. I’m sorry, too.”
Then my feet were moving, taking me back down the route I’d just come from. Just before I broke into a run, my chest soaring, I looked over my shoulder and said, “Thank you.”
She dipped her head, her brown eyes glistening.
Breaths panting, I raced to where my heart waited for me.
He stood in the same spot, his broad back to me, wide shoulders hunched, and his hands splayed out over the back of his head. At the sound of my approach, he spun, eyes popping wide with bemusement and hope when they landed on me.
I ran to him, throwing myself into his waiting arms. He caught me up, his head fitting against the side of mine as I let my legs wrap around his body and buried my face in the crook of his neck. Years could have passed before I eased back. With my hands clasped together at his nape, happiness raced through me so fast it made me dizzy.
His loving gaze trailed my face like a warm caress, and he smiled softly. “You changed your mind?”
I nodded, biting my lip, knowing without a doubt my eyes were shining. I’d take ha
