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“Leon...” she said with a long sigh. “Please don't—”
“I love her, Riley.”
Riley’s eyes filled, breath catching as I beseeched her, and locked her in my gaze. Ren's arms tightened around her.
“If she's pushing me away because she's fucking scared, that's bullshit, and you know it.”
She shook her head, reaching to swipe away a stray tear. “That’s not it. She’s trying to protect you. The only way she knows how.”
My shoulders tensed, brows pulling down. “To protect me? From what?” I gave my head a light shake. “What would she need to protect me from?”
Ri took a heavy breath, turning to look up at Ren who smiled down at her, his eyes full of tenderness.
Then understanding hit home, and my heart jolted. “Ri... is it something to do with her mom?”
Riley swivelled in Ren's arms, turning until her back pressed into his chest. “I love her, and I love you. And I just want you both to be happy. My loyalty will always be to her, which is why I’m going to tell you this.” She glanced down and pressed her hand over her eyes. “She was never going to sleep with him, Leon. It wasn’t real. She wanted you to see what you saw.” Her breath shuddered as she brought her gaze to mine. “She might have it, Leon… the disease her mom has? Liss might have it, and she’s scared to let you—”
I was out of the trailer and running through the park before she finished speaking.
Lissa loved me. Enough to try to protect me from whatever her future might hold. She loved me enough to let me go.
And she broke her own heart in the process.
I ran without stopping until I was standing at her front door, banging my fist down on the wood between heaving fucking breaths.
Her aunt and mom both stood wide-eyed in the doorway when it slid open.
I met their gazes, and said, “I need to see her.”
THIRTY-THREE
LISS
It felt like I was dying.
It hurt to breathe.
Trying to contemplate life without him had grief tearing through me. Every jagged inhalation felt like a cruel punishment, slashing at my heart from the inside and leaving me bleeding out internally. I lay curled up on my side on my bed, writhing in agony; an acute pain borne from a heartache so deep-rooted it felt infinite, all-consuming. Bone deep. Soul crushing.
I deserved it. Every second of it, and more. I buried my face into the comforter and pulled tighter into myself, curling my arms around my bent leg
s and rocking to the soundless sobs wracking my chest.
My mom’s hand rubbed up and down my back, a steady weight that hadn’t left since I’d fallen through the door and sunk to my knees. I’d told her everything. Bared my soul. And she’d wrapped me in her arms and whispered that it would all be okay.
But it wouldn’t. How could it?
A series of loud bangs against the front door boomed through the house; I barely acknowledged them. My mom stood with a murmured, “I’ll be right back, honey,” before leaving the room.
I tucked my chin into my chest, my breaths hiccupping in my throat, and willed it all to just go away. All of it.
But it didn’t. It wouldn’t. Tears slid silently over my cheeks, making my skin tight and itchy. I didn’t move to sweep them aside… couldn’t muster the energy to care.
Every ounce of my energy had been siphoned from my veins—the physical toll for my emotional turmoil—and it was all I could do to keep my heart beating, lungs pumping… tears flowing.
I heard my bedroom door open, then close softly. I didn’t turn.
A warm hand landed on my arm, and I knew instantly it didn’t belong to my mom.
