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I, on the other hand, felt like I'd need toothpicks to keep my eyes open at all.
~ooo000ooo~
It was 9:15 before Olivia finally fell asleep – I was in the middle of our fourth book. I knew I should have told her to go to sleep and left her alone after the first one, but I didn't have the heart to cut my time with her short. Not after being gone all day and after she'd practically begged me to spend some time with her. After all, she'd only be little for so long.
It was getting late and all I wanted to do was sleep. I wasn't even in my mid-twenties yet, and I wanted to collapse in bed and sleep for the next twelve hours like some old person. I didn't have any homework or readings for class to do, thankfully, which meant I actually had some free time to myself.
I removed the stupid bright green polo they required me to wear at work, thinking how ridiculous I must have looked to Shane. Once upon a time, I'd been a cheerleader – the hottest girl in our class with a bright future ahead of me. Now though, I'd been reduced to wearing hideously bright work shirts and stopping kids from stealing bags of potato chips.
Groaning, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My eyes were ringed by dark circles, my pale skin looking even paler than usual. I hadn't worn makeup in how long? I lost track. Had I known that I'd run into my ex, I might have put some effort into my appearance, at least. Instead, I looked tired and worn out.
Which I was.
My hair still looked nice, though. It was my one saving grace. I was lucky that I had straight, black hair that naturally looked shiny and laid just right over my shoulders. I didn't do much with my hair these days either, but thankfully, I didn't have to. I usually just ran a brush through it and was ready to go.
God though, Shane looked fantastic. Even after all these years, he still managed to make my insides churn. Wearing nothing but my bra and panties, I fell backward onto the bed with a smile on my face and a flutter in my belly as I remembered the way he looked at me. It was the same way he'd looked at me all those years ago. It was like nothing had changed. It was just him and me again, and it felt like everything had stopped for a moment or two.
I scooted back on the bed, situating myself against the headboard. I still had the same bed that I did back then – the same bed we'd had sex in all those years ago. It was the same bed he'd taken my virginity on. Closing my eyes, I ran my hands over my tummy, imagining they were Shane's hands. The sensations rolled through me as I imagined feeling his hands on me, remembering what it had felt like all those years ago.
My tummy had softened a bit since then. Having a child will do that to a woman, but the curves it gave me were definitely not a bad thing. I looked like an actual woman, rather than a schoolgirl.
With memories about the things Shane and I used to do in this bed running through my mind, I slipped my hand underneath the waistband of my panties and slid it between my thighs. Just thinking about Shane's eyes staring into mine back at the store – so much like the night we'd had sex for the first time – got me all wet and turned on.
Touching myself gently at first, I circled my clit with the tips of my fingers. It had been so long since I'd had sex with anyone – I hadn't been with anybody since Olivia's dad and I split up – that my body ached with a deep and abiding need.
Except, it wasn't just any man I wanted. I wanted Shane Jackson – my high school boyfriend. A low moan escaped me as I touched myself, my body aching to feel him fuck me like he did back then.
I slipped down onto my back, massaging my clit harder and faster, the pleasure making me moan softly. With one hand in my panties, I used the other to play with my nipples through the bra I was still wearing, and the added sensation made my back to arch upward with pleasure.
“Yes,” I groaned. “Oh yes, Shane.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my bottom lip as shockwaves of pleasure rocketed through my body. In my mind, my hand was Shane's mouth, licking and sucking at my sweet spot. He used to enjoy eating me out so much when we were younger. And he'd been so fucking good at it too. Always so eager to please me with his tongue.
My panties were soaked now, a fire and hunger rising up within me, and I knew I was ready for more. It wasn't his cock – as much as I wished it could be – but I slid two fingers inside of me as I gave my nipple a hard pinch. I gasped in pleasure as sensation exploded within me, my toes curling as I continued to play with my clit with my thumb.
Shane's cock was much thicker and longer than my slim, delicate fingers, so it hardly scratched the itch at all. But, as they say, any port in a storm, and still, it felt good. So, I continued fingering myself and playing with my breasts, teasing the nipples and imagining Shane enjoying them. Imagining him using and pleasuring my body. My tummy wasn't the only thing that had grown fuller over the years. I'd also gone up a full cup size or two.
I just knew Shane would have loved to suck on my full round breasts, and just thinking about that sent shockwaves rampaging through my body, an electric energy surging from my nipples to my clit. Olivia's bedroom was across the hall from mine, so I had to be quiet. With my heart racing and sweat building along my brow, I shoved three fingers inside of me and used my free hand to muffle my screams, biting down on my flesh as I rode out the orgasm as quietly as humanly possible.
As soon as the last wave of pleasure washed through me, my body grew heavy. I knew I had to get up and at least wash my hands before bed, but it was like a lead weight had been tied to me. My eyes were heavy, and all I wanted was to curl up against Shane's strong, toned chest and fall asleep.
The good news was, I knew he was back in town, which meant, I might run into him again. Even as I smiled wide at that thought, the nagging reminder that I shouldn't get involved with anyone right now rattled through my mind. Not with the custody battle with Trent looming. He was more than willing to use everything he had against me – not because he wanted Olivia, but because he hated me that much.
I knew I couldn't risk the slightest appearance of impropriety, I had to deny him ammunition to use against me.
Shane was a good guy, or at least he had been back when we'd dated all those years ago. I had no doubt about that. Part of me believed it would be okay, believed that Trent wouldn't be able to dig up any dirt to use against me in court.
Another part of me though, knew that Trent would stop at nothing until he got back at me. He knew that the only way to do that, after everything we'd been through, was to take my daughter from me. There was no way in hell I would ever let that happen, though.
Which was why I hadn't risked dating anybody in so long. It was also why I shouldn't have considered it, even then. I ended up drifting off to sleep while arguing with myself, all with the lingering doubt circling my mind like a hungry shark, that Shane might not even want me.
CHAPTER FOUR
SHANE
I hardly slept at all. I stared up at the ceiling, then looked at my phone, and found that it was just after seven in the morning. Both Emily and Nolan were on their way to school. I had the place to myself. I checked my voicemail, and sure enough, there was a message from my boss telling me he was more than a little disappointed in me and to not bother coming back.
Great. Not that I was surprised. I sighed and though I would have rather pulled the covers over my head and sl
