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It wasn’t funny. Nothing about this situation was humorous and, yet, laughter was the only thing that kept me glued together that night. Andrea and I both passed out at around the same time, curling up on my living room floor and letting the alcohol lull us into a deep sleep.
The next morning, my head was spinning. My stomach felt like a pit of burning lava. I stumbled into the bathroom and pulled the door closed behind me. Andrea was still asleep, so I jumped in the shower and tried to wash off the memory of last night. If I could have stayed there all day, just letting the warm water drip over my skin, I would have.
But about twenty minutes later, Andrea called out to me from the hallway. She had to leave for work, so I turned off the shower and let her use the bathroom. We said a quick goodbye, but I wasn’t ready for her to leave.
“Thank you for coming over,” I said. “I’m not sure I could have survived last night without you.”
“You can survive anything, Julie,” Andrea said firmly. “Anything.”
She squeezed my arm and jumped in her car. I stood in my front yard until she turned the corner and disappeared.
CHAPTER 30
Michael
Around three in the morning, Sheila and I saw Josh. He’d been out of surgery for a few hours, but they wanted to observe him for a while. We stayed in the waiting room, talking and sipping coffee to stay awake. It wasn’t an easy night. Not only were we both worried about Josh, but things between us were tense and uncomfortable.
My biological mother was nice, much nicer than I had imagined her. When I was a kid, I pictured someone mean. Cold. I thought she was the kind of woman who just wasn’t meant to be a mom. It turns out, I was wrong. Sheila was warm and nurturing. When we finally went back to see Josh, she immediately sprang into action. She smoothed out his sheets and brushed back his hair. She fluffed his pillow and sat inches away from his bed, holding his hand until the sun came up.
“You should get home,” Sheila said around seven the next morning.
“I’m okay here,” I said. “I want to be here when he wakes up.”
“It could be a couple of days,” Sheila said. “The doctors say he’s going to be just fine, Michael. You don’t have to worry anymore.”
I nodded but still didn’t move. The idea of leaving before Josh opened his eyes just didn’t feel right.
“We were fighting,” I said weakly. “Before his accident. We’ve been fighting.”
“About what?” Sheila asked kindly.
“A girl,” I said. “Julie? Did you ever meet her?”
“Yeah.” Sheila smiled. “I always liked Julie.”
“Me too…” I trailed off, suddenly afraid that Sheila might judge me for dating my brother’s ex-girlfriend.
“Oh,” Sheila said. “So, you two were together?”
“Yes,” I said. “I know it sounds bad, but—”
“Hey,” Sheila said with a laugh. “Joshua broke up with her. She’s fair game as far as I’m concerned.”
I laughed with relief. We’d only just met, and I didn’t want to get on Sheila’s bad side already. I felt better knowing that she didn’t care if I dated Julie, but my stomach was still tied in knots.
My brother was lying unconscious in a hospital bed after being in surgery all night. He was broken and injured. He would be okay, but his recovery was going to be hard. I wanted to be there for him but, after everything, I knew he hated me.
It was amazing how immediately my anger disappeared the night before. The second I found out about Josh’s accident, it was like everything else just vanished. I didn’t care that he tried to sabotage my relationship with Julie. I didn’t care about all the horrible things he said to her about me. All I could think about was whether he would survive. I hated myself for fighting with him, for not making things right before his accident.
“He’ll forgive you,” Sheila said wisely. “You’re brothers. That’s what brothers do. You fight.”
“We’ve never fought like this,” I said.
“Because you didn’t grow up together,” Sheila said sadly. “And that’s my fault. You and Josh missed out on so many years together. I’m sorry for that.”
“It’s okay,” I said quickly. “I wasn’t saying that—”
“I know,” Sheila said. “But it’s the truth. You and Josh are just catching up. You’re building a relationship and it’s hard. You’re bound to fight, but you’ll make it better. You’ll both forgive each other, and everything will be fine.”
