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But as I sat at the table, totally stunned by his behavior, all I could think about was how badly I wanted Emma.
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“When do we get to surf with Emma again?” Zoey asked mid-week.
She was already counting down the days until our next lesson. Knowing her, she was probably already counting down the hours. While I, on the other hand, was actively avoiding Emma as much as possible. The closer we got the weekend, the more nervous I became. I would have to tell her the agreement was off. I couldn't sleep with her. As much as I wanted to, we couldn't be together like that. I needed to remain in good terms with my neighbors, needed to avoid as much drama and stress as possible.
Sleeping with my neighbor's daughter, somebody I considered a friend, wasn't the best way of going about doing that.
“Just a few more days, sweetheart,” I said.
“Can Emma come over and play with us tonight?”
Normally, I'd say it was up to Emma, but I froze. Zoey turned to me and repeated her question, “Can we see if Emma wants to – ”
“Emma has a job now, sweetie,” I said. “I don't want to bother her all the time.”
But as luck would have it, my rotten luck anyway, there was a knock on the door a little while later, and it was everyone's favorite babysitter.
“I made cupcakes,” she said with a sweet smile, holding out a plate with three cupcakes on it. “Thought maybe you and the kids would like some?”
“Emma!” Zoey said, running into the foyer at top speed.
She wrapped her arms around Emma's waist, nearly toppling the girl over. Emma just laughed and hugged her back, barely managing to avoid dropping the plate of cupcakes.
“I come bearing gifts,” she said, but then looked up at me. “That is, if your dad says it's okay.”
Zoey's eyed grew wide as soon as she saw the cupcakes which were chocolate with pink and blue sprinkles on top. “Please, daddy? Please?”
“Since it's after dinner, sure,” I said.
Zoey reached up and grabbed the cupcake. Zack came into the room and his eyes grew as wide as his sister's had been.
“And give one to your brother.”
Zoey did as she was told, passing off the second cupcake to Zack. I ushered the kids into the kitchen, trying to avoid crumbs from getting all over the floor, and Emma followed behind. She handed me the last cupcake once we were in the kitchen.
“And one for you, of course,” she said.
“What about you?” I asked.
“Me? I already had three,” she laughed. “It's why I needed to get them out of the house.”
“You had three?” Zoey asked incredulously, her face covered with chocolate. “I'm jealous. I wish I could have three, they're so yummy!”
“My stomach hates me right about now,” Emma said with a laugh. “So, don't be jealous.”
There was something about a girl who could eat cupcakes without guilt that was so damn attractive. I couldn't put my finger on it, but the fact that she never once mentioned needing to watch her weight, or be careful about what she ate, that I admired. She was healthy without obsessing over it or sacrificing the things she enjoyed for the sake of conforming to societal views of attractiveness.
And I loved that she could be that positive influence on my daughter.
“Thanks for the cupcake,” I said, sitting it on the counter. “I'll enjoy it later, I'm sure.”
She shot me a smile and a wink, as if she was hinting at something more. I wasn't an idiot, I knew what she was getting at and it caused me to look away, to focus on my kids instead. If I was going to refuse her, I couldn’t damn well sit there and stare into those gorgeous blue eyes of hers.
“Wipe your faces and wash your hands,” I said. Giggling like maniacs, Zoey and Zack ran down to the bathroom to clean themselves off, which meant Emma and I were alone for a second.
She slid up next to me, standing a bit too close, and whispered, “I can't wait for this weekend.”
