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As I watched him go I took a deep, calming breath. He’d gotten me so worked up and I knew it was time to shake him off and go back to work, but it was hard. I kept imagining what it would be like to kiss him or better yet, be beneath him or on top of him.
Geez woman. Stop it right now Sarah.
He’s a bad idea, and at one point in my life I liked bad ideas. I lived for them. I enjoyed getting into trouble and having no worries. Now, I knew where that would leave me: Heart broken and broke. Not again.
I waited on my next customer and felt good knowing that the day had seemed successful with many of my new customers happy that I was open.
I knew every time I opened that oven I was going to see those eyes of his. He seemed like a nice guy, totally my type, but that was the problem. I kept reminding myself of my promise and why I’d made it.
That type was all the same, never wanting to grow up and be responsible. They were only concerned about their toys and I’d come in second to a motorcycle once already. The damned thing had almost ruined me. I’d been so foolish to buy the bike for him, but his own credit hadn’t been good enough. Now I knew why. He’d blamed it on his ex, so I guess he figured he’d pass along the misfortune.
I had been burned enough times. I was disillusioned by what I thought was love before, and my heart couldn’t take more ache. This was a new chapter for me, and this time I wouldn’t let myself fall hard for someone until I knew who they really were.
There was one final thought that entered my mind as I whipped down the counters - could I have the best of both worlds and avoid getting into a relationship with someone and still enjoy their physical company?
CHAPTER FOUR - HUNTER
My leg shook so bad that my lawyer reached over and put his hand on my knee to make me stop. Anyone else and I’d have punched them, but I regained my composure and waited for the judge to give me my verdict.
“Mr. Miller, I’m aware that you’ve provided a nice home for your daughter and it’s reassuring that your mother is so willing to help out with things, but I can’t stress to you enough how concerned I am about your lifestyle and its influence on your daughter as a soon-to- be developing young lady. The accusations from your ex about your promiscuity worry me and I can’t help but think that your daughter would benefit from having her mother in her life, especially for the next several years to come. I’d like you to consider the next month a transition period for your daughter to adjust to the idea that she’ll be living with her mother full time thereafter.”
Bile rose to my throat as I balled my fist. She was actually going to win?
The judge cleared her throat and continued. “I am prepared to reconsider this verdict at a later time if and when you marry. I feel that your daughter is in need of stability most of all, and it seems that since her mother has shown great strides in her sobriety, and with keeping a job and being able to provide a suitable home, there is no reason the child shouldn’t be placed with her at this time. I’m granting her full custody with the option to revisit.”
And that was it. It was done. I had no chance of getting my sweet Tani back as long as I was a single dad. Single mothers were always going to be more acceptable, especially to female judges, and though my lawyer had warned me of that, I had hoped the judge would see that Tani was better off with me. It was clear she didn’t see Nancy’s bullshit.
I stormed out of the courtroom with my lawyer and stopped in the hallway while he explained our next steps. “I’ll see what I can do, but your best bet is to play along and do this joint custody thing for the month to buy me some time. We’ll try to dig up what we can.”
Nancy strolled around the corner with a smile on her face, and it reminded me of the times when we were together and she’d done something with the sole intent of pissing me off. She hadn’t cared about Tani ever before and, had consistently chosen her addictions over her own daughter and me. In the end she’d been bitter because I’d left her. This was the payback and I knew that’s all it was. My lawyer placed his hand on my shoulder as if to remind me that choking her in front of everyone wouldn’t help anything as she stopped in front of me. “I’ll be by Friday at four. Have my daughter ready on time.”
I gritted my teeth and nodded knowing that if I opened my mouth she’d get an earful along with the rest of the courthouse. She laughed and walked away, but my lawyer kept me busy giving her plenty of time to be clear of the parking lot before turning me loose.
He walked me to my car talking about my options, all of which seemed hopeless. I’d have to settle for every other weekend which wasn’t enough. I hadn’t missed a day with my daughter since she was born, unlike Nancy, and now I was being punished for it.
“If all else fails you could always get married. Maybe having a woman around will soften up the judge. Are you dating anyone?”
“No. And meeting someone in this town I could fall in love with enough to marry is about as likely as finding a snowflake in hell, but thanks for the suggestion.” He wished me luck and told me he’d be in touch. I slid into my truck wishing I could have driven my bike. It was not only a passion, but a therapy of sorts. Being on my bike made me feel in control, and the vibration of the motor made my stress melt away better than a back massage. I needed its comfort now more than ever, but I cranked the old truck and headed for the shop.
My mother had taken Tani for the night and though I wanted nothing more than to hold my baby girl, I didn’t want her to see me this stressed out. She knew there was something going on, but I hadn’t explained it. She barely knew her mother and the idea that she’d have to move in with her made me sick.
It broke me to think of telling her the news – and letting her know that I’d let her down.
I pulled into the parking lot, noticing that Sarah was out front of her bakery with the hood up on her car. She looked frazzled.
I parked and walked over to see if she needed any help. She was bent over the car showing me her pretty round ass when I approached. Normally my cock would wave back, but today I had too much on my mind.
“Need some help?”
She startled, her hand moving up to lay across her perky breasts covering most of my view. “Oh, I don’t know what’s wrong. It was fine this morning and now it won’t start.”
“What’s it doing?” I wondered how old her battery was and wiped off some grit that had collected on it to see the date as she explained.
“It’s making a clicking noise when I go to start it.” She let out a long breath and I wished a car starting was my only problem.
“Do you have any power; lights or radio?
” I met her eyes which seemed tired.
