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My mom was silent for a few minutes. “I don't doubt that, Violet. Sebastian is a good man, I have no doubt about that.”
Hearing her say that filled me with hope.
“Maybe you two should come over for dinner soon,” my mom said. “I'd really like to see you again, Violet.”
“I'd like that,” I said. “And I bet Sebastian would like that too, mom.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN - VIOLET
As I stared down at the pink stripes, the answer was clear. This was the second test I'd taken that day and had gotten the same results. Sebastian sat beside me as I stared down at the test then back up at him.
“Positive. I'm guessing two false positives in a row isn't likely.”
I was shaking. Sebastian and I had never talked about having children together. After all, we were just getting started on living together. It became something of a necessity after my mom had kicked me out. A necessity that became a blessing in disguise.
Tears welled up in my eyes. Yes, I wanted kids, and the idea of having kids with Sebastian seemed nice, but things with us were still relatively new. And I had no idea how he felt about any of it.
“Shhh,” he said, pulling me into him, kissing my forehead. “It's going to be okay.”
“I need to talk to my mom,” I said.
For some reason, finding out something big like that – that I was pregnant – made me yearn for my mother even more. We had dinner scheduled later that evening, but I wasn't sure that would be the best time to make the announcement that she might be a grandma. She was just beginning to try and accept us as a couple, so there was that. That was a lot for her.
But as I stared up at Sebastian, I feared maybe he had other plans; plans that didn't include keeping the baby. I tried to get a feel for his thoughts, but without him saying much, it was more than a little difficult.
“Sebastian,” I said, taking a deep breath. “I don't know how you feel about being a father, and I understand if you don't want to be a dad. But whatever happens between you and me, I can't – ”
Before I could finish, I broke down in a fit sobs. The idea of aborting our child filled me with dread. It was weird ,before I even knew for sure I was pregnant, when it was just a matter of my period being late, I knew I wanted the child. Part of me was so happy to see the results, but of course, I was also fearful of what it might mean for my relationship with Sebastian.
I continued, “Whether you want to be in the child's life or not, I'm still going through with it.”
I was strong. I could do this. Even if it meant being alone, I could and would do it. Sebastian stared at me, a serious look on his face, but then he smiled at me. And in that smile, there was so much hope.
“I was hoping you'd say that,” he said. “I didn't want you to feel obligated though. You're so young and have so much life to live still. But I don't have as much time to be a dad. And well – ”
“So you're happy about this?” I asked, suddenly feeling my pulse racing and a sense of genuine joy spreading through my body.
“Yes, I am actually,” he said, appearing surprised at his own answer. “Very much so.”
“So this is it,” I said, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding. “We're going to have a baby.”
“We're going to have a baby,” he said, taking my hands in his.
***
“Wouldn't you like some wine, sweetie?” my mom asked, pouring a glass for herself and Sebastian. I looked over at Sebastian and he looked at me. I wasn't sure if we were going to tell her tonight or not, even though I was bursting at the seams to share the news. I was afraid she might not take it too well. Things were moving a little fast.
“No thank you,” I said, sipping my sparkling water. “I'm trying to drink more water.”
“Good girl,” she said, smiling at me. “You were always such a good influence on me.”
I tried to keep my mom eating healthy, even after what happened to dad. She sunk into a pit of despair and often turned to wine and chocolate to soothe her feelings, and I was there to convince her to replace her wine glass with bottled water, her chocolate with something that might better fill her stomach.
I looked down at my hands, not wanting to look at either her or Sebastian, afraid I might give something away by the guilt written on my face. I hated keeping anything from my mother, and this was something huge. Sebastian reached over and took my hand, squeezing it. As I looked up into his eyes, I couldn't help but smile.
We were having a baby.
Such joyous news, and I was dying to share it with my mother. More than anything.
