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My heart stopped. “What did you just say?” I asked, wondering if I'd actually heard her correctly or was just jumping to conclusions.
“I said, I'm pregnant. I had a positive test earlier today, and I wanted to see you. I wanted to tell you about it in person, but –” her voice cracked and she looked away.
For the first time since we'd met, the tough, impenetrable armor Casey wore cracked and I saw the tears as they rushed down her cheeks. She wasn't invincible after all. She leaned back against the wall, crumpling down until she was sitting on the floor, her knees pulled into her chest.
“I just felt so alone,” she said. “And I felt like you were abandoning me. I wasn't sure where we stood.”
She stopped and took a deep, shaky breath. But then, explosive sobs escaped her tiny body, shaking her to her very core, as she buried her face in her hands.
As I looked at her, heard her words echoing around in my head, the room started spinning around me. I had to reach out and grab hold of the wall to steady myself. To keep my legs from giving out beneath me. I didn't speak for a long time, almost afraid of what might come out of my mouth, but after I had a chance to think it through, I joined Casey on the floor, pressing my back against the wall.
“I'm so happy to hear that,” I said, feeling an excited warmth spreading through me.
She lifted her head just enough to stare at me with one eye.
“You are?” she asked, her voice soft.
I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and pulled her into me, kissing the top of her head.
“I am,” I replied.
“Even though Danielle is having your baby too?”
“It's not about the inheritance, Casey,” I said. “When you told me you were pregnant, my first instinct was to freak out. But then, as I thought about it – and thought about how I feel about you – I realized that I've never felt happier in my entire life.”
I couldn't explain it. No words that I could string together would help it make sense to Casey. But, it made perfect sense to me, somehow. I stared at the room around us, actually seeing it for the first time. The walls were painted a light blue, and around the tops of the walls was the painting of the train that circled it. Next to us, on my old racecar bed, was a teddy bear dressed like a train engineer. I picked it up, staring into the beady black eyes.
“Think the little guy will like trains, like I did as a kid?” I asked, booping the bear against Casey's head.
“Who says it's a boy?” she said, lifting her head up. “Maybe it's a girl that likes trains.”
“I knew that would get you talking,” I said, giving her a little smile.
Casey took the bear from me and held it firmly in her hands. She stared at the bear intently and I could see the wheels turning in that head of hers. She might be on speaking terms with me, but there was still a look in her eyes. She was scared, and I wanted nothing more than to reassure her. To take away her fear. To prove to her that I'd take care of her and the baby.
All I could see on her face though, was doubt and fear.
“You know, I'm going to be there for you, right?” I asked.
She didn't say anything. She just kept staring at the bear.
“You're not going through this alone,” I added.
“Won't you be too busy?” she asked. “Especially since now you have two baby mamas to take care of?”
“Oh, I don't doubt I'll be busy,” I said, leaning my head back against the wall.
The weight of my situation hadn't fully hit me yet, but it would. Later. I could freak out later, once I calmed Casey down. She needed me in that moment. Needed me to be strong. To be her rock. I knew that, and I wasn't about to let her down. I was going to be whatever she needed me to be. I turned to face her, staring into those beautiful hazel eyes.
“I'll be busy, but I got you into this mess, and I'm going to take care of you, Casey,” I said. “You and that baby of ours.”
She put the teddy bear back on my bed and stood up. I joined her, helping her push herself up from the floor, then taking her into my arms. This time, she didn't fight me. She relaxed into my arms and let me kiss the top of her head. The crying had stopped, but she was still trembling in my arms.
Cupping her chin in my hands, I lifted her head and forced her to look up at me. Even through tear-stained eyes, she was beautiful. Stunning. I wanted nothing more than to kiss the tears away. Brushing my lips against hers, I kissed her gently. It took her a second, but she eventually
kissed me back.
“We probably should get back down there,” she said, wiping at her eyes. “Or else they'll start asking a lot of questions.”
