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“Oh.” Aanother of those crazy deep-down thrills. The idea of Zac letting nothing stop him from going after a woman... A traitorous part of her wanted to be that woman, to have the experience of meaning so much to someone that he’d sacrifice anything.
Stop. No. Chris needed to live in this moment, not in some theoretical one. Besides, that kind of reckless passion wasn’t her style. “Have you ever been that in love?”
He sent her one of his amused looks. “These are some pretty intimate questions.”
“I’m getting to know you.”
“Yeah? Is that necessary for what we’re doing?”
The question shocked her. Was that what he wanted? For the sex to be as anonymous as possible? She’d expect that from Bodie or Gus, but not Zac. “Not necessary, no. But not bad.”
He maneuvered around a sharp curve, and she swore he was looking smug. What was with this guy and the smugness?
“To answer your question, I did think I was in love once. A woman I dated for four years after college and before I joined the Peace Corps. But when things turned bad I knew it wasn’t the real thing.”
“Why, you think love lasts forever?”
“I do.”
From anyone else, the naïveté would seem absurd. But in that masculine voice, spoken with deep conviction, the belief carried weight. “What about all the people who get married and then grow apart? You’re saying they were never in love?”
“I think you can make a mistake, yes. Infatuation can be so strong and so convincing that people rush into marriage. Most divorcing couples I know have pretty clear hindsight about why they weren’t compatible.”
“You’re a romantic.”
“I am.” He wasn’t apologizing.
“But you’re okay with casual sex.”
“Casual sex can be very romantic.”
She frowned. “I never thought of it that way.”
“Really?” He glanced at her. His hand found her thigh again. “I’ve been thinking of sex with you that way.”
“You have?” Chris opened her thighs a bit wider, a smile hovering on her lips. She really liked this new calm Chris. The first time she had sex with her last boyfriend, she’d been giggly and stupid with nerves, half wishing she was curled up alone in a quilt watching TV with a mug of hot cocoa. The Peace, Love and Joy Center was the best thing that had ever happened to her. California was the best thing that had ever happened to her. “Tell me more about that.”
Zac’s smile widened. Her mind raced ahead. In these fantasies of his was she bent over the arm of his couch? Naked on the beach with her legs spread wide? Straddling him in his bed? Kneeling in front of him with her mouth around his—
“I like thinking of you on the beach, sun lighting your face, laughing, your energy flowing, but relaxed, loose and free. I imagine you not worrying about anything or anyone, even yourself.”
Chris turned to stare at him. A sweet, melty ache started in her chest. “That’s it?”
“What?” He glanced over at her, back at the road. “You don’t like it?”
“No, it’s wonderful.” Her voice came out throaty and low. “Just not what I expected.”
“What did you expect?”
“Oh, something like...me naked and hog-tied.”
“Wow.” He gave a short burst of laughter. “Actually, I could work with that. But I wouldn’t classify that fantasy as romantic.”
“I guess not. Honestly, the whole romantic thing isn’t that important to me. I’m more concerned with respect and compatibility than grand gestures and passion in a relationship.” Her words hung in the air, pompous and dull. She shifted in the seat, stomach tightening. Was that even true anymore? Had it ever been?
“Chris.” His hand landed on her thigh again, voice dripping with sympathy. “I’m so sorry.”
Chris giggled, her stomach relaxing again. She pitched her voice to a prissy chirp. “I believe it’s only sensible to wait for sex until mutual respect is cemented, a minimum of sixteen years.”
“Ha!” He looked at his watch. “How about sixteen minutes?”
