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I wondered what the fuck she was going to pull as I rolled off the bed and grabbed my robe.
Traipsing down the stairs, I could smell the coffee. My nose led me right to it; right to the oversized mugs and the flavored creamers and the hefty canister of sugar. I made myself a massive cup and sat down at the kitchen table, waiting for my mother to appear so the bonding could commence.
“Wow. You actually came down,” my mother said.
“That’s what happens when you make me coffee, Gracie.”
“Do you really have to call me by my first name? I am your mother, you know.”
“Then start acting like it,” I said.
“Fine. I will. Mothers ask their daughters about their love lives, right? They get curious about their daughter’s lives, right?”
“Just get to the point, Mom.”
“I just want to know how my daughter is. What’s wrong with that?” she asked.
I sighed and brought my coffee to my lips as she sat down across from me.
“You want to know how my love life is?” I asked.
“Of course. Fill me in. We’ve hardly talked in weeks.”
“Months,” I said.
“Tomato, toh-mah-to,” she said. “So. Who’s got you all twisted up in knots? Been on any dates? Brought any men home?”
“Not much going on,” I said with a sigh.
“Not even a little bit?” she asked.
I was getting worried as to where this conversation was going.
“Nothing to write home about,” I lied.
“Oh, come on. You’re my daughter. You’re beautiful. You mean to tell me no man at that bar has treated you right yet?”
“They can hardly make it to the bar when you’re there,” I said.
“How about those Grove Brothers?” she asked.
“How the hell is that even remotely relevant?” I asked.
“Oh, come on. Everyone’s noticed them. The five men with the jet-black hair and the piercing blue eyes? You know two of them are twins? I wonder if their cocks look the same.”
“I’m not doing this. Nope,” I said.
“Oh, come on. Entertain your mother for a little while. I don’t have anyone to talk to today,” she whined.
“That’s because you don’t have friends. Just fuck buddies.”
“Oh, I’d take any of those brothers as one,” she said. “Especially the one with the gray at the temples.”
“Jacob?” I asked.
I cringed even as his name flew from my lips. My mother slowly panned her gaze over toward me, her jaw opening in shock. I’d really stepped in it this time. Now, there
was no way I was getting out of this house without her hounding me half to fucking death.
